I am not a hippie and I never dreamed that I would become one of ‘those moms’ breastfeeding a toddler, possibly with unshaven legs to boot. Yet here I am nursing Ruben at age two and asking forgiveness for my prejudices, because it’s the most natural thing in the world. Not only do I breastfeed him but I’m also sometimes too tired to shave . . .
For the past year I have found myself half apologizing for and constantly explaining why I decided to nurse my baby past his first year. The thing is, apparently it just isn’t done. The only time I ever see another mom nursing a child in public is with a tiny babe. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one with a rambunctious, dirt-covered toddler who sneaks into my lap demanding “Mik”.
There is also very little information available on breastfeeding past the first year and many doctors and so-called baby experts will tell you it’s not necessary. Which, considering what I know now, is shocking.
We live in a society that is obsessed with saving the planet, going natural and eating ‘clean’, yet for our babies in what is possibly the most crucial period of brain and body development we persist in choosing formula and plastic bottles over breast milk.
Bizarre isn’t it? (side note: Many woman are unable to breastfeed for many reasons, for those babies formula is a lifesaving invention).
One reason (I heard this first-hand from a doctor with my first child) is the myth that breast milk after the first year has no significant nutritional value. Actually, the research shows that the quality of breast milk after 12 months of lactation does not lose its value, both nutritionally and in providing immunity. The fat content (among many other things) gets significantly higher in the second year too, which probably explains why the more I eat the thinner I get (I feel like I’m always hungry). In fact the longer a baby is breastfed the greater the health benefits for both mother and child (UNICEF report, entitled Preventing Disease and Saving Resources 2012).
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The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2008). For more on the seemingly endless benefits of extended nursing see kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/, the research will shock you (it shocked me).
With my first child I did plenty of research on best practices. As with all moms, I wanted the best for my child. Still at that point, based on what I had read, I believed that breast milk was only necessary for the first year, after which you could quite happily change to cow’s milk or formula.
I was nervous about doing everything right, from getting him to sleep correctly to introducing solids, so I signed up for consultations with an expert. She advised that I systematically drop a feed as I introduced solids to make sure that my baby would be hungry enough to eat his solids.
Ho hum. At 13 months my milk supply dried up and Daniël refused to nurse. At the time I assume this was nature taking its course. I didn’t realise what had happened as the expert had never explained the consequences of cutting back nursing sessions. Turns out the body works on supply and demand. If you reduce the number of feeds, the body produces less milk until eventually it stops completely. It was only with my second child and reading up on extended breastfeeding did I put two and two together.
With Ruben therefore, my goal was 12 months and I was seriously considering weaning him when we were invited to Alberlito Hospital’s World Preemi Day talk. Alberlito’s paediatric pulmonologist Prof Andre van Niekerk gave a very frank talk that changed my perspective.
He urged us to not deprive our babies if at all possible for at least their first two years.
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“Breast milk is a living organ of the body, like blood, and formula is a poor substitute,” said Prof van Niekerk.
He said continuing to allow our babies to drink breast milk would help them specifically in two key areas that preemies are known to struggle in, avoiding learning difficulties and challenges with motor skill development. So with Ruben I allowed him to take the lead and nurse whenever he wanted. I don’t regret it for a second. He loves his solid food too and sometimes eats more than his big brother.
That said, I don’t know how much longer we will continue. We have reached our goal and perhaps we will reassess in a few months.
I just want to encourage those moms out there who are enjoying breastfeeding and are feeling pressure to stop. You are doing the absolute best for your baby. Take heart in knowing that by defying social norms you are blazing a trail for more mothers to come after you.
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