Two Bits – 2 May 2014

I’ve just read a delightful novel by a Swedish writer entitled “The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out Of A Window And Disappeared”.
The hero is a mild-mannered Swede who, more by happenstance than design, in the course of a long and varied life met and influenced the world’s political leaders from General Franco to Truman, Mao Tse-tung to Stalin, Churchill to Kim Jong I, but who himself had not the slightest interest in politics. Having been castrated as a young man in a bizarre social experiment, nor had he the slightest interest in chasing women.
His chief interests in life were having enough vodka and finding a quiet spot to mind his own business. Suffice to say he was frequently prevented from achieving either goal, which is where the story gets interesting.
Having spent Sunday morning reading through the newspapers’ reams and reams of pontificating about next week’s national election I felt like climbing out of a window and disappearing myself. Why, oh why, do they have to make elections so ruddy boring?
The parties can’t content themselves with 12-point, two page manifestos and clear, succinct arguments. In fact they deliberately avoid being clear, in case the voters understand them and make them keep to their promises. No, no, no, they have to ramble on for 50 or 60 pages, puffing themselves up with extravagant promises that nobody, especially the voters, expects them to keep. Public confidence in politicians must be off the charts, in the wrong direction.
But consider the alternatives. Democracy keeps us from anarchy. Churchill said “Jaw, jaw is better than war, war.” My centenarian hero, in the book above, commented on the senselessness of one of the great wars, in which 16 million died. He said if only they’d waited a bit longer, they’d all have died anyway!
My disillusionment with politicians doesn’t mean I won’t vote next week, because it is the only political voice I have. A stay away vote or a spoiled ballot is a wasted one. With the rights we achieve as citizens of a free country comes responsibilities, and one of them is to vote. Like the reformed alcoholic moving step by step away from blaming others for his misfortunes, we have to take responsibility for our future.
Vote left, vote right, but vote! Then you have the luxury of sitting back for the next five years and asking yourself, ‘Did I do right?’ If so, then good. If not, you’ll get the chance to make another choice next time around. But you won’t be a passive patsy, avoiding responsibility for your own lack of backbone and blaming others for the mess we’re in.
All the parties are making a big thing of 20 years of democracy and leaning heavily on the memory of Madiba. What’s the big deal about 20 years? It’s just a number. What is a big deal to me is the rampant thievery and corruption of the public purse that threatens to endanger my livelihood and bring the country to its knees.
My vote will not be for a thief. Simple as that.
* * *
Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.
“Damn,” he says. “I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.”
His partner replies “What are you worried about? We’re both here.”