Nuclear solution to Ballito’s electricity problems

The new Townsend Park

Ballito is to be the second South African town to have its own nuclear power plant.
Government gazetted this extreme solution to Ballito’s on-going electricity problems today, April 1.
Following two days of darkness, during which businesses lost thousands (‘Blackout burns business’, Courier, March 5), the issue finally came to the President’s attention.
At a press conference today, April 1, it was announced that since the new presidential holiday home was soon to be built in the coastal town it was only appropriate that Ballito be selected for this honour.
“The nuclear plant was decided long ago, it was just a matter of where,” said parliament spokesperson Truthful Mhlongo.
The plant would sit snugly next to the new community hall in Townsend Park.
Addressing media on Tuesday Mhlongo said residents did not have to be consulted as they were already canvassed for their consent to the community hall.
“Why should we do the same thing twice? The plant is coming here to make residents’ lives easier so they must just accept it.”
He said the existing trees will have to be razed to the ground to make way for the new plant, which will service Ballito and the greater Ilembe district.
But he promised that more trees would be planted at all the other local parks to mitigate the loss.
Technical manager Adam Bullsith said construction would begin immediately.
“The plant will run all day, every day and it is urgent so we have to start as soon as we can. If any residents complain we will be switching their electricity off for a week, so they can see how much they need this plant.”
Mhlongo and Bullsith said water used to cool the plant’s reactors would be fed back into the town’s reservoirs.
“This is also an incredible solution to water shortages that have plagued the town for so long,” said Bullsith.
When asked for comment, long standing Townsend Park resident Gappy Lie’l said: “I think it is wonderful. We’ll get cheap electricity and it will surely also make things uncomfortable at the unwanted controversial town hall”.
The Ballito Conservancy is rumoured to be planning a protest already.
“We will tie ourselves to the trees before allowing this project to go ahead,” said a source from Treehuggers anonymous.
To lodge an objection or register as an affected party visit www.nobodycareswhatyouthink.com.

 

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