My two boys have been spending a lot of thinking in ‘time out’ of late. At 4 and 6 this is to be expected.
The incident when Ruben (who was 3 at the time) bit Daniel and then himself in order to pin the blame on his older brother has become somewhat of a legend in our house.
This otherwise sweet child can lie with the virtuosity of your most practiced politician. He will likely be excellent at poker.
It is up to me and Pieter to figure out how to guide them from this ‘the universe revolves around me and what I can get out of it’ pupa state into kind, morally astute adults.
They are, after all, emotionally immature and to them a bop on the nose or a high pitched wail of ‘you’re the worst brother ever!” seems at the time a fair way of handling disputes.
What unsettles me is when I see adults handling life in much the same way. Social media is often just a playground for adults, and on it there are plenty of bullies.
What got me thinking about this was the knee-jerk reaction to a number of letters published in the newspaper and then shared on our social media accounts.
It strikes me that many people do not understand the purpose of the Letters to the Editor section of the newspaper.
The Letters section allows the community an opportunity to express their views on the issues of the day.
The lack of tolerance for diverging opinions is not new, but has become more pronounced in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Fear has made us more intolerant than ever.
This became abundantly clear when we received grating criticism for the views of letter writers. “Oh no North Coast Courier! How could you publish this?” people demand in horror.
The commenters felt offended by the opinions of their neighbours and instead of using the opportunity to debate the issue at hand, they simply shout insults.
The letter ‘Sin is the real virus’ by Dick and Yvonne Harris of Salt Rock that we published last week, for example, had a great many panties in a knot, with a many people both for and against its contents.
I love a robust debate, but to those who denounced us for publishing it I ask: How would you react if it was your letter I censored? Would you throw a tantrum then and accuse me of being captured?
If I only publish letters I agree with I am standing in an echo chamber of my own beliefs.
Not every letter submitted gets published.
The jilted lover trying to defame his ex by claiming she peddles Mandrax to children in playgrounds – without proof – goes directly into the trash.
The same goes for hate speech based on race, ethnicity, gender or religion.
If you want to call someone rude names, do it on your own Facebook page (they may sue but hey, that is the risk you take).
You also have to use your name, no non-de-plumes allowed.
This simple rule cuts out a lot of the nonsense.
It’s one thing to spout off your ‘opinion’ on Facebook, but quite another to put your name in print, for all your neighbours and co-workers to see – and run the risk of being sued for defamation.
But the heart of the Letters page rests in public debate.
We cannot grow as people unless we expose ourselves to opposing opinions.
This may offend our sensibilities but our reaction is a reflection of our own maturity and not the person who has challenged us.
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“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”- Isaac Asimov
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