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It’s a day of a million contradictions and, while it’s a calendar date with romance for some, Valentine’s Day could also be 24 hours of misery for the lonely, and for couples, with undue pressure to perform miracles with already stretched budgets.
Valentine’s Day could count among one of the loneliest days of the year, said relationship and intimacy coach Tracy ZimanJacobs.
She said: “Valentine’s Day can be a stark reminder of the lack of a romantic partner. This can, in turn, trigger feelings of loneliness, isolation, and self-doubt.”
She added that the commercialisation of the day, the long-lead time set by retail and social media feeds in particular, have exacerbated emotional challenges.
Being bombarded with images of happy couples on social media can end up making someone feel like they are the only one without someone special in their life.
The pressure to find someone, coupled with the societal expectation that everyone should be in a relationship, can make this day particularly challenging.”
The same goes for people who have lost their partners, or said sad goodbyes by death or divorce. Both can be equally traumatic.
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Ziman-Jacobs said: “It can be an especially difficult time. The day can bring up feelings of grief, sadness and longing for their lost partner. They may feel overwhelmed by the celebrations of love around.
The reminders of love and happiness can make their loss feel even more poignant and painful.” But potential emotional trauma is not limited to singles.
The pressure and pre-Valentine’s Day performance anxiety, particularly on the planning and the cash flow front, can take a significant toll on a partner within a couple, and the relationship dynamics that may become a hangover of this kind of pressure.
Ziman-Jacobs said: “For many couples, this holiday can bring with it a great deal of pressure to make it a big deal. The pressure to create the perfect day can lead to stress, disappointment, and, in some cases, strain on the relationship.
“The expectation of grand gestures, whether it’s an elaborate surprise date or a lavish gift, there is a cultural expectation that Valentine’s Day should be a time to show your love and devotion in a big way.
This can result in a sense of obligation to do something over-the-top, which can be very stressful and lead to strain in a relationship.”
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Restaurants are almost all fully booked on the East and West Rand, as well as in the north and south of Joburg.
George Kounelakis, owner of Il Gusto Restaurant in the east, said his establishment was already fully booked in the first days of February.
He expects a full house tonight but added that average spend will likely be down, as the economic pinch of runaway inflation and erosion of disposable income continues to take its toll.
Florist Kylie Werner also said while there were orders aplenty, average spend is down from around R500-R700 last year, to between R300 and R450 this year.
But play between the sheets has not felt the pinch. Online retailer Sexy Curves reported a massive spike in turnover this year with owner Priscilla Olivier saying she has been inundated with orders.
Local sex toy maker Exotic World also said orders have flooded in and business this Valentine’s Day is booming.
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