In between court dates and fights, the children suffer

Many stories have been written about absent fathers or mothers fighting for maintenance but who care about the children.

It starts from the top: the law.

The courts were full and social workers were overworked and a backlog of cases or investigations… yes, we heard every excuse.

Yet children were still being used as pawns in a game between bitter parents divorcing in 2021.

The games they played were far from a sophisticated chess game but rather resembled a playground fight. It starts with a push and a shove, then the sticking out of the tongue in a teasing manner.

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Splat and the paw-paw hit the fan followed by the mud-throwing competition. These were just some of the things happening in the background while the parents waited for their day in court while the child continued to suffer.

Remember every court appearance was usually postponed for a month for “investigation”, which meant another month for that child without seeing their parent.

Unfortunately, some of these cases dragged on for no less than three months, and spread over years. In between these court dates, the fights continue and the children continue to suffer because they were often taken out of their routine.

Neither the court, nor the social workers were there when the children needed to see a parent or were being kept away from the other parent.

So when exactly was the interest of the child being implemented?

It was so easy to point fingers at the “spiteful” mothers and “useless” fathers, but who were pointing fingers at the court giving the people power to misuse for selfgain?

Where were the police investigations of the thousands of protection orders falsely issued? Let’s be honest, there were a lot of liars out there who would make an elaborate statement to prove a point to an ex-partner.

This was also not in the interest of the child. Every time a mother tells a father he was not allowed to see the child because he did not pay, it was not in the interest of the child.

Every time you tell a child, go to your new “mommy”, it was not in the interest of the child.

Every time you tell a child a lie about the other parent you were not only not acting in the interest of the child but also alienating the child from the other parent.

Again, where was the court or social worker when this happened behind closed doors and in between the court dates?

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Where was the court when Marcel Steyn, then 14 years old, was alienated from her father and forced by her mother to commit murder?

Marcel was one of six convicted killers in the Krugersdorp murder case which saw 11 victims killed in a matter of four years.

Sure the court was there to sentence her to life imprisonment, but where was this same system or rules when she was being manipulated by her mother, and alienated from her family?

You see the law only protected Marinda Steyn, the legal guardian of the children, whose actions led to their biological father “writing” them off.

He was sick of being told when he may or may not see his children. Now the father gets to visit his children behind bars every other weekend.

It takes a community to raise a child.