Where is the society that refuses to normalise absence of fathers?

President Cyril Ramaphosa has noted absent fathers. But what then? There is a gap in society that allows men to abscond from their responsibilities.

It has become acceptable in society that when there is a lack in the household, people question the capabilities of the woman and the man is allowed to do as he pleases. I am in no way excusing that women can go out for the weekend, leaving children unattended.

The modern man is actually very oppressive. He neglects responsibilities and burdens the woman, who must carry his load while remembering to submit to his every whim.

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Where did this man find his blueprint? What principles is this man modelled on and for crying in a shiny, galvanised steel bucket, when can we all acknowledge that in 2023, there is no place for this sort of man?

We attribute the failures and shortcomings of boys on the absence of a father figure. The argument being that if a real man was present, then a role model would exist to guide boys. Too many boys are raised by single women who have to wing it because of abusive fathers.

Let us admit that, growing up, even women have problems and yet society still expects them to overcome and run with the order of the day. We need to stop excusing bad behaviour.

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The truth is: somewhere we are going wrong with the type of men we are raising. They are violent, possessive of women and entitled – this at a young age. In order to rectify this problem we have to contend with, we should be willing to reflect the mirror back to every member of society.

The first mistake we made was we were willing to accept the barbaric behaviour because “the male child has too many problems because they lack a male role model”. In itself, why are we willing to accept that it has become a normal that fathers are no longer present?

As a society, we should not be willing to accept the unacceptable and we should cease to excuse the inexcusable.

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Once we can do that, we can remedy the situation that gains traction from our silence, because girls are the collateral damage of the broken man that society is producing on a large scale.

While mothers are to blame – where were the fathers? Where is the society that refuses to normalise their absence.