What’s the delay with the jabs?

My mother-in-law’s neighbour is missing. Over the festive season, she took to daytime drinking in the nearby cemetery
with two sleazy characters.

And then she was gone. Her little dog was locked in her house and was terribly traumatised when we saved the hungry, thirsty animal.

“How can anyone do this to a defenceless animal?” asked the lovely Snapdragon.

“She has always been very friendly to me,” I replied with the exhausted Pumpkin in my arms. Much too friendly for my liking,” said Snapdragon grumpily.

We took Pumpkin home. Rocky, the miniature pincher, loves her, but Sweetpea, our Boston terrier, attacked her immediately.

The women in my life don’t approve of the females from that sad house.

After three sleepless nights, we revived an old South African custom by putting Snapdragon’s beautiful hand-made four poster bed on bricks to stop the trio of snoring, flatulent beasts from jumping on the bed.

This week, the missing neighbour’s father said he will take Pumpkin, because his daughter hasn’t reappeared yet.

“No!” said the four-year-old Egg after her first school day of 2021.

“Haylee and I played policewoman and human today and I need a police dog.”

Apparently, Haylee is in trouble with the law because she jaywalked and refused to give beggars money.

“Didn’t she even offer you money to get off the hook?” I asked. “No,” said Egg. “So I beat her up and chucked her in jail.”

“Bheki Cele would be proud of you,” I remarked.

“No, he wouldn’t,” said Snapdragon. “He’s got far too much to worry about. Like finding the missing money to pay for our Covid-19 vaccines. I understand we have missed two payment deadlines already.”

“Why is it taking government so long to secure vaccines?” I asked.  “They acted swiftly to protect us from jogging after nine and open-toed shoes?”

Which is an important question not answered by Uncle Cyril during Monday evening’s “family meeting”.

If the delay is due to billions disappearing like Pumpkin’s owner, it will kill thousands of front-line workers and normal South Africans.

Dirk Lotriet.

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