Wait your turn to get the jab

Remember years ago – or was it really only a few months ago – when the vaccination programme was rolling out in other parts of the world, and we started hearing about the cheats, about the queue jumpers?

What morally bankrupt people they were, we agreed: the wealthy couple who flew their private jet to a native American enclave and pretended to be from amongst the vulnerable tribal people; the two
women who disguised themselves as geriatrics; the politicians handing out inoculation favours; the lawmakers, the royals, the rich elbowing in…

And now, the youthful South Africans bragging on Facebook about how that got jabbed because they hacked the system.

All healthy young people, pushing ahead of vulnerable old people. All self-absorbed egomaniacs, throwing granny under the bus. The sense of entitlement bowls me over.

My mum got her first jab on Thursday – Pfizer superpowers granted at last! – but then discovered on Friday that her ageing gardener isn’t even registered. Together they are battling to get him uploaded, because the system keeps crashing.

I guess the techies are still trying to secure it to prevent more youngsters stampeding over the elderly.

However, we still can’t register my sister who, with Down Syndrome and co-morbidities, is particularly at risk. Being 47, she’s 13 years too young, though her condition means her life expectancy is only 60.

Meanwhile, a friend tells me about a couple she knows smugly boasting of their vaccine queue-jumping. They’re 32. Yes, it’s a tiny non-crime so unfortunately we can’t round the cheats up and send them down for six months hard labour, yet how I wish we could.

I’m sure these queue-jumpers are very pleased with themselves but – to quote my dearly departed dad – may they rot in hell.

Would they, I wonder, steamroll their own grandparents too? Or did they make sure their kin were registered, and everyone else’s gogo/ouma be damned?

I suppose they think it’s survival of the fittest.

So if you’re one of the queue-jumpers, maybe consider making a charitable contribution in penance; maybe take a trip to your local squatter camp to help register those that you’ve robbed.