South African President Cyril Ramaphosa appears on behalf of the ruling party African National Congress (ANC) at the Zondo Commission of Inquiry in Johannesburg, South Africa, 11 August 2021. The Zondo Commission was set up by former President Jacob Zuma to investigate state capture and corruption in the country. EPA-EFE/SUMAYZ HISHAM / POOL
During elections, it’s almost impossible to separate garbage from the truth.
So the following scenario could well fit the pattern of voters’ puzzlement and perplexity.
The red phone rings in Judge Raymond Zondo’s home office. Only one person knows he’s still putting in after-hours’ work on commission business.
The president. “Hi Ray. I need your help. The ANC is showing up badly and it’s likely to lose some key municipalities.”
“Yes, Cyril, I know it only too well. In fact, I’m sitting with the evidence of over three hundred witnesses whose stories paint an ugly picture of the ruling party’s complicity in malfeasance.”
“That’s the very reason behind this call which, may I remind you, is highly classified. So, no leaks to the horrible media, please. I’m appealing to your fair nature, despite Jumping Jail Jacob’s accusations to the contrary.”
“You have my word on that. Although I’m feeling slighted that you should even ask that of me.”
“But there have been occasions when the media got hold of sensitive documents reflecting information placing us in a bad light. But let’s get the point – I have to appear on television with another futile family TV talk.”
“You have my ear, Cyril.”
“Thank you. All I’m asking is for you to have your report postponed for three months.”
“Aikona wena! What are you asking, Cyril? I’m already in hot water with Treasury over the other three postponements. The whole caboodle has already cost over a billion.”
“I know all that, Ray. But this is a question of life or death for the ANC. If your report should appear prior to the elections, it would signal its death knell. Whereas if the report comes out afterwards, it would be too late to do any major damage.
“By that time we’ll be safely ensconced – albeit with less councils to run.”
Unbeknown to the president, the judge has been glugging from a glass of Glenlivet. He now downs the rest of it and does a refill with his free hand.
The president’s shocking request is too much to handle without a pick-me-up.
“Hic. I’ll do what I can, Cyril, but there will be blow backs.”
The rest is history
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