We possess the number one batsman in the world (Abraham Benjamin De Villiers, just his names are impressive enough for him to lift the trophy); the Steyn Remover is the second highest-ranked bowler; we have more than one match winner (Hashim Amla, Faf du Plessis, Morne Morkel, Imran Tahir); and lastly, Quinton de Kock will come right! Promise.
We know the usual narrative of how seriously we regard our sport, as it continues to play a huge role in bridging some of our glaring divides, blah blah blah.
But most importantly, the reason why the boys desperately need to come back as world champions is that they owe me, and not just a little bit, but a lot. You see, I am a product of so-called multiracial schools. What this means is that I played cricket at school and this resulted in me having to explain the rules of the sport to my folks.
Abraham Benjamin, do you know how difficult it was to explain the concept of leg-before-wicket to my parents more than 10 years ago, when all they had as a reference was soccer? In that sport, it is a very good thing when the players kick the ball, so can you imagine what kind of tutorial sessions I had to organise?
Quite clearly, I was not too bad at teaching them about no-balls, wide balls and that the term “silly” in cricket actually refers to a fielding position and not to Herschell Gibbs’ off the field antics. The Proteas owe me the Cup as I am the one who has to endure through hours of my parents now fully understanding the game. They are now at a point where they passionately recommend to me who should be selected to be the opening eleven.
As we all know, there is no “I” in “team” and an additional reason why the squad simply has to win is that we were all up at 3 o’clock this morning to witness them bludgeon the New Zealanders and to confidently march into the finals.
As a team of supporters, we will be risking verbal warnings from our bosses for most of today in order to regularly keep up to date with the score at work, will be wearing our green and gold underwear and some true fans will even be locked in the bathrooms so as to tune into their DSTV Walkas.
That is why the Proteas need to bring home the Cricket World Cup.