During election time, crazies pop up to form their own political parties with ludicrous manifestos.
I always found this phenomenon intriguing because there’s no way they’ll be taken seriously – and it’s money down the drain.
I must admit, I appreciate the chutzpah shown by these off-thewall types and suspect they’re cocking a snook at convention with its fair share of failings – like corruption and bad governance.
In fact, it got me thinking about joining the mentally deranged and registering my own party.
Okay, I’ll have to save up for the deposit by doing without biltong, pork rashers and Coke for the next two years.
But it’ll be worth the sacrifice when filling a parliamentary seat with all the addons. And rubbing shoulders with honorary members.
And be called honourable. Wow. How exciting. But the first consideration is the name of the party.
And it’s important to be listed near the top of the voting list. Hence, the Ambidextrous Action Forum.
You like? And, wait for it, the slogan: “AAF – a balance between left and right”.
And we’ll function as a forum, where in-depth discussions take place between members before decisions are taken, as opposed to a party that acts impulsively and reactively.
A properly conducted forum has no place for personal or collective opportunism.
Members of the AAF will call each other “Thinkers” (Comrades are not permitted to think – that’s left for the president and his cronies) because to be part of a forum, you need to think things through and come up with practical and sustainable ideas and policies. Oh, and Thinkers are totally colour-blind.
So we’ll start off with a smallish group of beginner Thinkers whose first task will be to plan a membership drive in all provinces, using social media to get the message across and attract thinking citizens sick of the tainted status quo.
We’ll add to the slogan with: “Think, don’t stink.”
As cells of Thinkers build up all over the country, ideas about education, health, policing and finance are expected to flow.
Out of this will come a mini manifesto that will be taken to the citizenry at large for comment.
This will help fine-tune the final document.
Want to become a Thinker? Then start thinking before 2019.