Columns 27.10.2016 06:09 am

Marriage is truly for the brave

Christopher Panayiotou during his bail hearing at the Port Elizabeth Magistrates' Court on June 4, 2015 in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. Christopher Panayiotou's bail hearing in the murder case of his wife continued in court yesterday. Judgement was postponed to June 5, 2015. (Photo by Gallo Images / Beeld / Deon Ferreira)

Christopher Panayiotou during his bail hearing at the Port Elizabeth Magistrates' Court on June 4, 2015 in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. Christopher Panayiotou's bail hearing in the murder case of his wife continued in court yesterday. Judgement was postponed to June 5, 2015. (Photo by Gallo Images / Beeld / Deon Ferreira)

Getting married in South Africa is fast becoming dangerous, wouldn’t you say?

There’s a lot to make you think so, with Christopher Panayiotou in court for the murder of his wife, and Jayde and Petina Coetzee’s case having just started. A woman in Pinetown was also arrested for a similar yet foiled plan. One day you’re at the Home Affairs office to collect your marriage certificate, the next you’re off to the same office to collect your spouse’s death certificate.

This tells me that one of two things is happening: either people are intentionally getting married to have their spouses killed for financial gain or there is something horribly wrong with the institution of marriage.

Looking at scenario number one, killing someone for R200 000 in order to gain a life cover payout of about R1 million, maybe getting caught and landing up in jail, nothing gained except either a spouse that died for monetary gain or time spent behind bars. If the killer gets away with it, what happens when the money dries up?

Do these people marry another person who they will also wipe out for their life cover? The alternative is that there must be something wrong with the institution of marriage in our society, and it’s not just limited to South Africa. Perhaps one partner could be unhappy and feel that death is the best way out.

Perhaps another may feel that the violence within the relationship is too heavy a burden to carry. The issues may vary, the excuses are plentiful, but death cannot be justified in any way. There is always that little thing called divorce.

To kill someone’s child because they no longer serve your purpose is ridiculous in the extreme. Isn’t it easier to simply walk away as opposed to killing? Honestly, if you cannot “adult-up” to the requirements of marriage, just stay single and spare a life.

A friend and I were discussing how marriage has its own challenges, the ups and the downs, but we cannot be ruled in marriage by the fear that, maybe one day, the news might be about how our husbands succeeded in organising a hit on our lives.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo

 

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