Not even Covid-19 can thwart the black funeral

Black funerals have proven to not be any less opulent even through the hard times of Covid-19, with stricter rules of movement and numbers in attendance.

And this isn’t just a result of the family wanting to spend money willingly. In a village setup, the neighbours, which translates to the whole neighbourhood, will be at the house of the deceased every day, throughout the day, even post burial day.

This means those who come before lunchtime will be served lunch. Furthermore, those who come after lunchtime will be served tea/coffee with some scones or biscuits.

It almost looks like they have planned that they will come in different groups at different intervals.

For the first time since the lockdown was implemented, the Chabalala family buried one of their own this past weekend.

One had hoped that people who live far will stay at home, especially those who have to cross provincial borders to attend the funeral. But I was proven wrong. Some demanded a copy of the death certificate and others pleaded to get one. Just to make sure that they get permits.

It could all be easily mistaken for inconveniences and a lack of compassion to an extent by those who insist to come through. Particularly those who require money and a place to sleep. However, I learned that as black people, we still place our physical presence above anything else, especially at the time of bereavement.

Even the uncles and aunts who don’t have enough money for the increased taxi fares are going to force matters. It would be a taboo and a dishonour for them to not come through.

The act of paying the “last respect” could lead us to even disrespect and disregard the laws. The very same laws that are put in place to protect us and minimise the spread of the coronavirus.

Being in charge of the ins and outs of the people coming into the home of the deceased, I noted with great observation that most of the villagers came in just around lunchtime for three consecutive days prior to the burial. They were not even carrying scones for tea. They simply aligned their time of arrival with lunchtime. Many of them ate and left.

There was a day where more than 20 chickens were slaughtered. That is almost R2,000 gone in one day. A huge size 30 three-legged pot of pap was cooked every single day, with two veggies to serve approximately 45 people daily.

The trays of scones and pots of tea or hot water for coffee flew throughout the day and night as different groups of people came and went.

Perhaps the restriction of 50 people should have been a bit stricter and insisted on the same 50 people until all the ceremonies are completed. However, it is probably a blessing in disguise that people can rotate, as long as we adhere to the limit of 50 people, all is well.

The opulence isn’t just about expensive coffins, decoration and some people insisting on buying new clothes for the burial day. People still want to feed people luxury food they don’t even enjoy at their homes on a normal day. The expenditure on food can still be improved.

At the end, it dawned on me that as blacks, we value and spend a lot on funerals. This experience almost shattered my dreams of seeing simple, affordable funerals in black communities. It still remains a far-fetched dream.

• Kabelo Chabalala is the founder and chairperson of the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men. Email, kabelo03chabalala@gmail.com ; Twitter, @KabeloJay; Facebook, Kabelo Chabalala
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  Kabelo Chabalala.

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