My loveless marriage with Cell C

We’ve been together for more than 12 years now. We met while I was still at university. I was walking to one of my lectures, and there he was… a hired promoter handing out free Cell C sim cards.

Of course, RICA wasn’t really a thing back in that day, so I could hook up instantly. I did just that and before I knew it, that sim allocation became my number – my one and only number.

I mean, I knew people back on campus who had several numbers and they were okay with that sort of lifestyle, but I wanted more. I figured if I really want something solid in life, I needed to stick to one. One number where both my parents, close friends and potential employers could always get me on. It was the only way I could be seen as the reliable kind.

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Putting a ring on it

Soon, I graduated and started out in the working world. But life was hard trying to find my feet. As I was to learn, no one really wants you when you don’t have a whole lot of money or a proper credit rating.

Back then, Cell C accepted me and took me as I was. Before I knew it, I signed on the dotted line, committing myself to a two-year contract, with a new Blackberry device in tow.

It has been 12 years since I signed that first agreement, and sadly what started out as a promising working relationship has since fizzled out dismally.

As I write this, I wait in the queue of Cell C’s call centre customer care line for assistance from an agent who has gone to double-check something with his supervisor. Till now, he has insisted I am in the wrong.

He comes back on the line and we fight and argue as I try hopelessly to explain for the fourth time how I did the transaction, got the confirmation SMS but never got the credits on my account.

Dialling back the respect

Once again, I am reduced to tears on a phone call. The Cell C agent on the other side insists I am wrong and refuses to view the screenshots I have from both my bank and the messages they sent me earlier. “I’m telling you I recharged my account. Money went off my banking app. I got a confirmation SMS from both Cell C and the bank. Just look at the screenshots – I have proof, just look at it!” I shout.

But he tells me he just can’t see it on the system on his side so he can’t help and cuts the call. Is he for real? How dare he!

In a fit of anger I call back, but this time, I am transferred from pillar to post, with no one being able to assist. Then the call drops again.

Maybe I’m being unreasonable here with my expectations from this, but as the very source of network connectivity, how can they possibly be experiencing connectivity issues at their call centres? I mean, give me the bare minimum at least – why do I have to beg like this?

I get nowhere with that fight and once again I give up from the sheer exhaustion of it all.

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I want to bail. I mean, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I really want to change this aspect of my life.

A real connection

You know, I’ve actually ventured out once. Bought a phone from Vodacom. Oh, how lovely that sales-lady was. She even threw in a free phone cover. Did I ever feel appreciated as a customer after the longest time. How much I wanted to make that change permanent. I wanted to leave and take my number and just go where the grass is redder, but they say it will take a whole month till everything goes through and Vodacom and I can gain access to my number again.

My friend Adele tells me not to jump ship so fast. She has been with Vodacom for a good couple of years. She tells me its not always sunshine and rainbows either. “We have our problems,” she says.

I end up sticking with Cell C. Besides, we have so much history together and so much is tied to my number with them: my banking app approvals, my registered verification number on social media apps… how can I walk out now and lose access to everything?

So I stick it out. Even though I lose data in ways I don’t know how; even though I recharge and am told it was unsuccessful, and directed to go to my bank to get back the money I lost – I stick it out and stay.  

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I try to make things work. I don’t know how many times I have hauled us to hello peter or the consumer complaints platforms. But whatever I say is barely heard. Cell C always feels its right and refuses to compromise.

Nothing to cell-ebrate anymore

I know my loyalty means nothing to them. I know they no longer care about me as a customer anymore and all they want from this is the monthly subscription fee. But one day they will learn.

One day, AI will catch up, banking apps and social media will find other means of verification and there will be a new service provider that doesn’t back us into a corner or traps us into a blood-sucking arrangement.

And we will have the courage to drop that call, to log out, to block and delete. And what a glorious day it will be!