Letting the cat out of the bag

Today I was going to discuss the problem with cats, but then I thought I’d better write about trans rights instead because it would be less contentious.

Cat-people are crazy – possibly due to the effects of toxoplasmosis.

However, I’m back to cats because no trans person has ever committed gratuitous murder and left the body on my stoep.

Correction: bodies. Don’t get me wrong – I like cats. I grew up with both cats and dogs.

One of my family cats seemed to think it was a dog, never leaving the property, never hunting, and waiting on the doorstep for us to come home, running dog-like to the car to greet us.

I know cats are beautiful and can be comforting too. When they’re not killing for kicks.

I’m currently looking after my sister’s cat – her family have been staying at my house while they move, though now they’ve gone camping – but our relationship is rapidly souring as the bodies mount up.

Field mice from the nearby nature reserve were just the beginning of Simba’s homicidal spree.

The latest corpses are of one of the delights of my garden: the weaver birds that make their nests in the tree above the pond.

The first body appeared on the verandah, punctured by cat teeth.

The second lies out of reach on the roof, a small pile of yellow feathers and sadness. The nests are empty.

I love birds, and know they’re essential to the ecological balance: they control pestilence, pollinate plants, spread seeds, assist in regeneration of woodlands, and make homes for themselves that provide shelter for other species.

Cats do the opposite. Domesticated cats are responsible for more human-related wildlife deaths than anything else.

They are central to the extinction of some 22 types of birds.

They kill literally billions of creatures a year for sport, including birds, small mammals, lizards, snakes, and frogs.

In the US alone, domestic cats annihilate at least 1.3 billion birds and 6.3 billion other animals a year, and some estimates put the figures at three times that.

So unless my sister comes back soon, Simba might be taking that final journey… to my sister’s campsite.

First though, I’m trying a bell collar. With cow bells on it.