It’s time to bring back the lions

Years ago, my news editor heard a rumour that some farmer had bred a cow that looked like a lion.

So this city girl did what any self-respecting news editor would do – she phoned her reporter in the Free State (me) with the assignment to go and find this astonishing animal at Nampo.

“A cow that looks like a what?” I asked. “How would anyone think a gigantic animal with horns and an udder looks like a lion?”

“Just go to Nampo and find this lion-cow,” she commanded.

Which I did, because Nampo is always fun.

“A cow that looks like a what?” a puzzled Hereford breeder asked me. “I think you should go and ask the guy at the Brangus stand.”

“Do you think he will know?” I asked.

“No,” he replied. “But he’s my neighbour and he will never believe me if I tell him about your stupid question. A cow is a cow and a lion is a lion. Nobody in his right mind will ever try to breed a cow that looked like a lion.”

I asked several other cattle breeders, and they all agreed: a cow that looks like a lion is sheer lunacy.

I couldn’t wait to phone my news editor. “The cattle experts all agree: If you ever see an animal that looks like a lion, do NOT try to milk it!”

Which brings me to the present. Most of us will be glad to see the back of 2020 and hope that 2021 will see the end of the Covid-19 pandemic, as well as economic recovery.

But we can’t depend on politicians to get this miracle started – they’re just a bunch of old cowards.

And you can’t rely on a cow to do a lion’s job.

Cows eat hay and our political cows have devoured the last blade in this country. You can see them masticating, but our barns are empty.

Santa’s on his way and he has already delivered a baby boy doll to our home – the four-year-old Egg has seen the unwrapped gift when she crawled under our bed this week. Heaven alone knows why she was under the bed. Perhaps she wants to become a news editor – news editors do funny things.

But despite the doll under the bed, Santa’s job isn’t done. He’ll have to return to bring us lions. This country has never needed lions more than now.

Dirk Lotriet.

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