Crowd of best friends. Picture: iStock
It’s curious how the death of someone that you really value can force you to face your own mortality but also, to appreciate life’s joy at the same time.
And it happens at every turn of sadness. They say that wisdom comes with hindsight, but so does appreciation.
As a child, road trips were the biggest yawn. I never understood how my parents could be in awe of mountain streams and bush, or a vulture circling a carcass.
Only years later did I discover it for myself.
And now the memories of hours of staring out car windows on the way to the coast come rushing back when I drive my kids to the sea.
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It’s the circle of life and the learning of appreciation. And it’s a learned state of being.
Not a natural point of departure for the essentially selfish creatures that human beings are. Friendship follows the same cycle.
Liken it to a piece of television. Any show can have a script, a hero and a plot.
But the depth of character development and nuance is what differentiates any old piece of video with a truly great viewing experience.
That is friendship. It’s the deeper meaning between lines of dialogue, the connection beyond simply engaging with someone at a particular time and place.
It is unselfish. I thought about this again all week after the passing of a friend whose life was exceptionally busy.
He was a successful attorney.
But there was always time for a chat, in between busy days, about music, about how Morrissey and The Smiths were one of the greatest bands ever.
These are the moments that one never forgets. And when I listen to The Smiths now, I always hear our chuckle and chat, too.
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And, as with a stone in a placid pool, what ripples out from your centre is the lessons you learn from others.
Sometimes the lessons can be profound, at other times, simple but useful.
A mentor on whose shoulders I was allowed to stand, who leg-upped me from a dead-end job to a career, shared with me one day that he was given a helping hand when young and directionless and I was the lucky recipient of one of his payback moments.
Paying it forward became a mantra for much of my life.
From my recently passed mate I learnt that relentless pursuit of a goal always pays dividends.
Not always with a victory at the end, but rather, the lessons along the way and the web of an expanding business and personal network that you might gain along the way.
A very wealthy friend showed me that trying to keep up with the Joneses can be like a dog chasing its tail and you will never find joy comparing yourself to others.
Follow your own playbook and wealth will find you in its many shapes and forms. After all, oodles of cash are only riches.
True wealth can never be bought or sold. That, he believes, is earned and a dividend of wisdom.
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He’s worth millions, but drives an old sedan and couldn’t care less about keeping up with the Joneses.
Friendship is about taking the rudder for a friend when life’s navigation is challenging; it’s about teaching and learning, it’s about a shoulder to lean on and helping someone else to touch the stars.
It’s about learning empathy, taking a step back and listening to someone else, or being given the opportunity to be listened to.
Most of all, it’s about what we take home from the energy shared. Friendship isn’t just another roadside attraction.
It’s the beautiful landscape and nature’s bounty on our own journey on life’s road trip.
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