A life free of sexual violence is a basic human right

To imagine a country being free from rape and its notoriously high levels of gender-based violence (GBV) would probably be like imagining a world free of patriarchy.

Immersed in violence and rape culture, South Africa is in a league of its own, with GBV being a buzzword and women being men’s playground.

South Africa ranks in the top five globally in femicide and a woman is killed here every four hours.

In 2021, Statistics South Africa’s report dealing with crimes against women in South Africa indicated one in five women (21%) had experienced physical violence by a partner.

We live in a country where, while there are initiatives and programmes created to try to educate and deter men and young boys from being perpetrators of GBV, these initiatives are just not curbing the problem.

It is shocking to see how it is so normalised in many families, mainly due to culture and religion. The cultures of systems have established barriers to services and resources.

Culture has influenced how gender violence is viewed and minimised by society as an “accidental problem”, used as a fitting explanation by communities, or linked to stereotyping by systems.

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I came across a thread on Twitter the other day which spoke of the rape culture in the parts of the Eastern Cape – places such as Gqeberha and Makhanda – where it is cultivated in boarding schools, where the boys’ rugby culture and under-age drinking are a toxic combination.

Comments and discussions flooded in, concerning how disturbing it was to see the same thing every week and see boys protecting each other at all costs.

And the hard part for people was even when incidents were reported, the system there failed the victims.

Others mentioned the delusions girls were trapped in, where some bragged about dating rapists.

Clearly, the issue begins at an early age, where society and the influence of rape culture makes a boy to view himself as superior to a girl, where the term equality in the boy’s ear is alien.

So what will be done or, perhaps, where do we start?

The job seems to be left to a woman to bring about change because as we know, women have always been the bearers of change. It may be quite unfair that the task is left up to women but no one else can effectively carry out the work for a better tomorrow.

There is no guarantee of a perfect man but the kind of boy a woman raises can bring about effective change for the future man.

The teachings taught and instilled at a young age to the boy can truly make a difference.

In siSwati we say “ligotshwa lisemanti”, meaning “a branch is easily bent when it’s wet”.

But when it is dry, it will break.

The opportunity of moulding a boy to be a better man and father one day can only be beneficial to society.

All this comes with education.

And girls should also be educated. Women should teach their daughters and equip them with knowledge and awareness of GBV so they can ultimately also impact their children one day.

One woman lost is already too many and to live in fear should never be a reality for women and girls.

Bringing a girl into this world should not be a worrying factor. A life free of sexual violence is a basic human right, even in conflict.

If you – or anyone you know – are exposed to sexual violence or assault of any kind, reach out to the TEARS foundation on 010 590 5920 or by dialing *134*7355#.

They can also be contacted via email on info@tears.co.za or through their website. Alternatively, locate the nearest centre to you.

Contact Crime Stop on 08600 10111, the Gender-Based Violence toll-free number on 0800 428 428, or Childline on 0800 055 555.