Sometimes a red beret is needed to speak SA’s many languages of love

Just over a week ago, my wife Mpho, and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. Besides the Lord’s grace and mercy, we attribute the success of our union to knowing when one must lead and when the other must follow.

I have had to accept that she is more of a red beret kind of persona, willing to organise a national shutdown, if necessary. Her unrelenting spirit to fight for what is ours has seen us come out victorious in a number of altercations with those in authority.

She has taught me that there are times when it is absolutely necessary for leaders to feel the heat of the people. How else do you think that over the weekend, South Africans celebrating their anniversaries were not forced to burn candles, but could enjoy setting a romantic mood using dimmed lights, barely audible R&B and a Netflix romcom?

It took a certain amount of national vuma to guarantee an entire weekend of uninterrupted electricity. To be more accurate, it took the idea of national vuma, as the shutdown was more of a shut-up, directed at our leaders.

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I, on the other hand, have always been a diplomatic individual, willing to try and resolve issues in the most amicable way possible. I am the type of person who is willing to bang my head against a brick wall repeatedly, expecting that at some point, the other person will come to their senses.

In our time together, there have been times when threatening to burn a tyre or calling a manager has just not been successful. Sometimes, strenuous dialogue interspersed with even more negotiations are the way to go.

Sometimes, the well-being of a people needs to be taken account, as a radical fight may have long-lasting negative implications.

In the next few days, weeks and months, economists and analysts are going to release reports telling us the damage that was done to the rainbow nation, due to the idea of a national silent treatment. But, some will say it would have been worth it.

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In 1994, a relationship was formed and it started off like others, where the partners were both on their best behaviour.

Over time, as true colours slowly appeared on both sides, it became clear that various tactics had to be used at various times.

True wisdom is knowing when to deploy what, when and where.