Economic growth: Cyril’s a man, not a genie

Himself sent me a message from Ireland: where are our electric hair clippers?

Apparently he is starting to look like he did in the ’80s, and not in a good way.

Well, Mr Mullet, I replied, unfortunately “we” don’t have hair clippers – those of which you speak left home along with the firstborn, to whom they belong.

Himself hasn’t had a haircut since November. Ireland’s hairdressers and barbers have all been closed since early January –
about the time he was due a trim – shut by the government along with everything else deemed non-essential.

And still no pubs: the legendary pubs of Ireland haven’t been open since last March, since the first lockdown.

There had been hope of an easing of restrictions of sorts later this month, at least for shops, but now it looks like nothing is going to reopen until April.

Meanwhile, the men of Ireland morph into a Bee Gees tribute act.

So I cannot help finding myself a bit jaded by the ongoing bleating in South Africa about the economy, particularly surrounding
last week’s State of the Nation Address, with demands about what Uncle Cyril intended to do to restart the economy, to kickstart
the business world, to create employment and opportunities and growth – growth! – in the midst of a pandemic, right when the global economy is shrinking.

“Economic growth” is like a political football being kicked around in a hospital ward.

Cyril’s a man, not a damned genie. The only thing that’s grown anywhere since March 2020, is waistlines.

Demanding recovery now is like demanding a patient lists their career plans when they’re on the bathroom floor clutching the toilet bowl, vomiting.

All we can realistically do is try to stabilise things, to prop them up.

And, in fairness, South Africa is buzzing along compared to many other countries, at least on the ground: you can shop, eat out,
stay in a hotel (and not just because you’re in quarantine), catch a plane, use public transport – even get a haircut.

Well, you can if you can afford it, so it behoves those of us with the resources to do what we can to support those who can’t.

To this end, as you read this I’m driving back from the Cape with a boot full of wine…

Jennie Ridyard.

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