Choose your role models wisely, young people

Cynically, I watch as social media “influencers” take time from their perfect worlds to warn us “out there” not to believe everything we see on social (even mainstream) media – that everything is not as it seems.

These are the same people who build their brands off showing us all the things we desire to have, but almost always fail to tell us when we shouldn’t believe them.

As I grow older, I find that I harbour this same distrust with almost every segment of the media and the information I consume about people’s personal lives.

We all know of that celebrity who owns a museum as a home and insists on using already tired coined phrases like “if I could make it, so can you”.

Or those people who will never be caught dead wearing clothes without designer tags that they earned from their hard work.

You take time out to listen to how they managed to amass their great success – and they hardly waste time disappointing you with their explanations, always seemingly missing the integral pieces of the puzzle.

In the end, they tell you that all they want to do is inspire the youth to achieve the unthinkable.

I had not realised the overwhelming sense of betrayal I felt when their attempts to inspire me failed, until I realised how important it was for me to find a role model.

From a young age, particularly in formal school, we are taught about the importance of having someone we look up to and someone whose footsteps we want to emulate – be it the teachers, the prefects, the principal or the head boy or girl.

At home, you may even have older siblings that you have to look up to as “examples” of what you want to become.

We are taught to always admire someone else – be it their lifestyle, character or work ethic – in a way that nearly dehumanises the person.

But what happens when you aspire to become an imitation of someone and you realise that none of what they stand for is real?

Speaking to someone about my frustration in finding an appropriate role model forced me to ask very important questions: why is it important to have one, and what exactly am I looking for in them?

Could it be that your upbringing alone has presented you with people whose qualities you admire and want to have in your own life?

Could it be that the role model you are looking for could be within yourself and your inner urge to become successful?

The danger of choosing a role model because you admire what they have, is that they could end up distracting you from the real qualities that will help you in life because you are busy chasing something that you are not sure about.

As young people, I dare you to look into the people you admire and deem your ultimate role models and question what qualities they have that you admire.

I am still learning that the world owes me nothing… And I’m learning to look within myself and pick on the qualities of others that truly matter.

Chisom Jenniffer Okoye.

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