Cliff Buchler
2 minute read
4 Jun 2014
8:00 am

Enough to make your blood boil

Cliff Buchler

Poor innocent mice are still being abused in laboratories to help find cures for human illnesses. And many of these are self-inflicted – like poo- puffing and drugging.

Cliff Buchler.

The latest tests are sickening. So is the motive.

Scientists are playing Dracula by injecting blood from young mice into their older peers. Evidently, compounds in the younger blood stimulate the seniors, increasing longevity and virility. We’re not told where all this leaves the youthful suppliers. With a blood deficiency they likely whither away in some smelly coop.

From the beginning of time man has tried to live longer; even forever.

Pills and potions with magic formulae have been swallowed and injected without the desired effect. Others have had themselves encased in ice, hoping to one day thaw, hopping out of old skin.

So medicine has prolonged life – again thanks to sacrificial rodents who go through all hell in finding cures. We have learnt a longer life doesn’t necessarily spell a happier one. But that’s a subject for shrinks or dog collars.

But for argument’s sake, young blood mixed with older blood give the recipient eternal life: remaining alive forever and a day.

And let’s go a little further. Imagine injecting the fresh red juice into someone like Bob Mugabe. Already in his eighties, he remains a despot and highly unlikely to change his ways with age. Madman forever. So Zimbabweans stand no change ridding their otherwise beautiful country of this nasty piece of work.

The same can be said of our own leaders. President Jacob Zuma will have an eternal ball adding to his Nkandla harem, as well as sticking around for as many terms as he wishes. Where the blood comes from is open to conjecture. Maybe from JuJu, who is proving a thorn in the ANC side? Will he be left to end his days with caged mice? And regretting the day he stood for parliament, instead of paying off his taxes and return to farming cabbages?

Helen Zille is likely to prove a difficult recipient, insisting on selecting her own donor. Someone like Ryk Neethling with his looks and stamina, or her new understudy Mmusi Maimane.

No, I reckon searching for eternal life should be canned. Sounds too much like hell on earth.

Rats!

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