Since late Wednesday we have been walking like zombies, drowning in dark shadows of pain and disbelief, hoping that this is just a nightmare where someone will wake us up in sweat and we will sink into prayer.
I am afraid it’s real. The unbelievable is happening. The surreal is playing. The insanity rolls on. The conductor doesn’t pause; he waves his arms in deep satisfaction to the exquisite delivery of the orchestra. The crowds applaud at the orchestra of insanity.
They must think we are fools. To think that we can’t have a seat in Masvingo, Manicaland, and the three Mashonaland provinces. What a loquacious tragedy!
Now even those that they killed shamelessly during Gukurahundi have embraced them. Can you honestly tell the villagers of Matobo whose children were mercilessly thrown down mine shafts that they have now found peace with the devil? Go to Esigodini and ask them. Ask my friend Paul Temba Nyathi in Gwanda the same question. What a load of rubbish!
Can you tell the beautiful people of Gairezi in Nyanga North that the imposter Magadzire Nyanhongo is now their MP? Can you tell the people of Masvingo Urban that a failed businessman going by the name Daniel Shumba is now their MP?
I have said it before, water in its flow will never defy gravity. A mouse can never hunt a lion.
Spare a thought for Theresa Makoni. Can someone in Borrowdale Road show me hands and say we voted Zanu PF? Maybe you are there at Sam Levy. Please get in touch if you are out there.
Spare a thought for Sean Timba and the beautiful suburb of Mount Pleasant. I caught them in Churchill Avenue in broad daylight. Innocent, under-age souls dusted and brought to life from the back of yonder at Nyangombe in the middle of Binya road. They looked like Tolkien’s hobbits, or should I say little gollums. They were holding forged voter regi-stration slips. They froze and wet themselves when they saw us. Tired, hungry and abused – despite the structural poverty gripping them. This is how desperate we get.
The thing is we always assume the Revolutionary Party has conscience or limits. They do not. For power, they will do anything. When dealing with them always budget for the irrational, for the insane. Any assumption of sanity is wrong and naive.
They have stolen this election to the extent that they themselves are so embarrassed. I suspect they didn’t intend to steal this far and create such a ridiculously, so incredulous, a situation that no reasonable person would ever accept the same.
But you see, once you steal, you are just a thief and you can’t stop. There is no such thing as a little cheating. It reminds of the Loot Committee of 1895. When the colonialists discovered there was no little Rand this side of the Limpopo, they started looting land and cattle belonging to the local natives. It got so bad that they had to create a little committee to curtail their own avarice. The committee was known as the Loot Committee and its first chairman was Thomas Meikles. Yes, that one of the Meikles empire (113 years later some things never change).
Back to the Tired Party, you must be pleased very much with your product. You must be saying to yourselves and your spouses, “we did a good job”. Your children must be so pleased with you. “Daddy, we knocked out that Tsvangirai.”
“Yes son, nice job. At least we can go to Beijing next week.”
“Thank you, dad, I love you so much.”
“But dad, why are the people not celebrating with us?”
“No, son, the people are stupid, they have been bought. You must never be bought, at least the Chinese are better.”
Well, you did a pretty damn good job didn’t you? Guilt, my friends, is a heavy load. You can’t breathe when you carry guilt. Reputations, big reputations, have been soiled in this election. Some of you we thought were decent. But we have found you out. Little, conniving, spineless people. You have fooled a lot us. But you can’t fool all of us all the time, can you?
But I am not suggesting anything. No, you didn’t force-march people to pretend they were now illiterate. No, no, you didn’t fail to produce the voters’ roll to other political parties. No, you didn’t register people after July 9. No, you don’t do that.
No, no, you didn’t force chiefs, kraal heads and headman to force-march people to vote at synchronised polling times. No, you didn’t chase people away from polling stations.
No, no, Nikuv never helped you; never supplied you with those fantastic pens with mutating cast ballots. No, Nikuv never helped you with doctoring the voters’ roll. What cheap lies!
No, you didn’t issue en masse fake voter registration slips to
anyone. That boy Silumbu, the Daily News is crazy.
No, you didn’t throw away at the Sheraton unpalatable special votes against yourselves. No, no, you didn’t cause the arrest of Morgan Komichi. I know people just create stories against you.
No, you didn’t print duplicate ballot papers. No, you didn’t swap ballot boxes in certain areas. I swear NaMai Dvororo, you didn’t do this. No, no, you are not working in collusion with or manipulating ZEC. What a horrible lie!
No, you didn’t transport under age unregistered voters from refugee camps and Border Gezi training camps. No, you won the election free and fair. After all, the people love you so much and are so grateful for everything you have done for us. You gave us jobs, functioning industries, hospitals and Africa’s best country.
Wananchi, poor Wananchi. You worked so hard. You won the campaign. It is so painful when some moron tells you the impossible. That one plus one equals seven. No, it doesn’t add up.
But Wananchi, we are not the victims. They are. We didn’t lose this election. We don’t accept this result; one that is so unashamedly a farce that it is null and void, as President Tsvangirai said at his press conference on Thursday.
Wananchi, let’s remain calm and keep our eyes on the ball. They have made an opening move. They have indicated where they want to take this country. They have reflected they will stop at nothing. Very well then. Very, very well.
Time will tell who is the real winner. Time doesn’t lie, does it? It always catches us out. Yes, time has all the time in the world. Only fools think they can steal from it. Or fornicate with it. No.
Now I am told they are desperately looking for some diversion from the grand theft. They are always good at that. Something to divert the people’s pain.
I am also told that they want retribution. That violence will erupt against our people. That they will seek to kill, assassinate and arrest. But guys, you have won the election. Get on with governance. I am also told that they also want to push us into some other government of national unity, or some variant of it.
But Wananchi, those who have won must govern on their own. Tongai Tione. Zikomo!
This blogpost by Tendai Biti, the MDC-T secretary general and outgoing Finance Minister, first appeared on bulawayo24.com