I smell a rat, all the way in Zimbabwe

I have always had a keen sense of smell, which I attributed to my wide, African nose. This superpower came in handy this week when I could smell something slightly off, at our house.

For a few days I thought Mpho was burning one of her weirdly scented candles again, like Pot Roast Dinner, Homesick and Wicked but Enchanted.

It turns out someone – while unloading groceries from the car – had forgotten to remove a packet of mince from the shopping bag with the family snacks in it, which stay in our bedroom, for teenage safety reasons.

ALSO READ: Zuma pledges support to African Voluntary Carbon Credits Market Forum in Zimbabwe

It is the same nose that is coming in handy once again as I smell a rat, all the way in Zimbabwe. That is because former president Jacob Zuma represented the Baftas at the Africa Voluntary Carbon Credits Market Forum, which took place in Victoria Falls last week.

My nose would not have picked up a rotten mince with marshmallows scented candle if Msholozi was receiving a British Academy Film and Television Award, as we all know the man can act and dance.

My nose is working overtime as this Bafta stands for the Belarusian African Foreign Trade Association, a platform for East European companies to do business with Africa.

This is the same Zuma who unsuccessfully tried to mobilise Russian companies to build a nuclear power plant and delayed the roll-out of South Africa’s renewable energy programme. And now we must believe that the same guy is all of a sudden a climate ambassador?

ALSO READ: ‘Zuma likely to appeal court ruling declaring private prosecution of Ramaphosa unlawful’ – Manyi

My nose will not stop till we know why Letha Umshini Wami was really there.

What is making my nose hairs even itchier is that suspended Judge President John Hlophe is also being hosted.

If things are still not quite making sense for you regarding these two cronies and their Zimbabwean jaunt, carbon credits are a type instrument that allow companies, governments and other organisations to address their greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions by funding projects that reduce or remove carbon dioxide or other GHG emissions from the atmosphere.

So, my nose is telling me that very soon, Eastern European countries will still be polluting the atmosphere, but buying more carbon credits from African governments, all thanks to the Terrible Two, Zuma and Hlophe.

ALSO READ: Natural disasters set to increase by 37% globally by 2025 – Report

They will obviously get a hefty “thank you” fee and my poor nose will remain itchy for a while to come.