Whether your child is beginning at a new school or moving into a higher grade, this transition can bring about anxiety – for both children and parents. Understanding what’s behind these feelings and how to support your child can make all the difference in helping them adjust.
What makes young children anxious about starting school?
Children often thrive on routines and predictability, so any disruption to their established habits can cause stress. Starting school introduces a range of uncertainties:
- Separation anxiety, especially for younger children, as it may be the first time they’re separated from their parents for an extended period.
- Social worries as some children feel apprehensive about reconnecting with friends after a long holiday or making new friends in an unfamiliar environment.
- Meeting a new teacher – or several, for older pupils – can feel daunting.
- Some children have practical concerned and worry about whether they have the right uniform, stationery, or supplies.
- Environmental adjustments whereby unfamiliar classrooms, school lunch routines, or even using new bathrooms can be sources of anxiety.
- Children with with learning difficulties may worry about coping academically or about who will support them at school.
How to recognise anxiety in children
Children may not always be able to articulate their feelings of anxiety, so it’s important to watch for signs in their behaviour. These may include:
- Changes in sleep patterns or eating habits
- Complaints of stomach aches, headaches, or nausea
- Increased irritability or withdrawal, especially when discussing school
- Changes in bathroom habits, such as more frequent visits or accidents
They may also express their concerns through questions like:
- “Are you going to stay with me?”
- “What if someone is mean to me?”
- “How long is the school day?”
- “Is the teacher going to shout?”
How to help your child feel less anxious
Children often mirror their parents’ emotions, so staying calm and reassuring is key. Here are some practical strategies to ease their anxiety:
- Provide reassurance: Talk about school as a safe, fun place where they’ll make new friends and enjoy activities. Validate their concerns while reminding them of past instances when they overcame change successfully.
- Familiarise them with the environment: If possible, visit the school beforehand and introduce them to their teachers or key staff members. Take photos of the school or browse its website together.
- Encourage connections: Arrange playdates with classmates before school starts to help them feel more comfortable socially.
- Prepare together: Create a checklist of what they’ll need for school—uniforms, stationery, bags—and tick off items together. This can give them a sense of progress and readiness.
- Use positive affirmations: Develop affirmations like “I am brave, I can do this” and practise saying them together. These can be a helpful tool in many anxiety-provoking situations.
- Introduce a growth mindset: Explain that mistakes are a part of learning and growth. For younger children, visual timetables can help them understand what to expect each day, providing a sense of security.
- Normalise their feelings: Remind your child that it’s normal to feel anxious during times of change. Explain that their brain is designed to protect them and that some anxiety can be helpful.
Allow time to adjust
It’s normal for children to feel unsettled for up to six weeks after a major change, such as starting a new school year. During this time, offer praise for their efforts to adapt and celebrate small achievements. However, if high levels of anxiety persist beyond this period, it may be helpful to consult a psychologist for further support.
Starting school is a significant milestone, and with the right approach, you can help your child navigate this transition with confidence and resilience. For more information about Bellavista School or Bellavista S.H.A.R.E, visit their website.
Article supplied by Karen Archer, Deputy Principal and Director of Bellavista S.H.A.R.E. (Educational Psychologist)
