Dealing with your teen’s silent treatment

The teenage years are a time of growth, self-discovery, and occasionally, the phenomenon known as “the silent treatment”. If you’re a parent of a teen who has recently become a maestro of silence, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone.

The silent treatment is a common tactic used by some teens. Instead of turning up the volume to express emotions like anger, frustration, or control, they go on a word strike.

The silence can be deafening, and the lack of communication between you and your teen can lead to a sense of isolation and confusion (for both of you).

How to deal with your teen’s silent treatment

The silent treatment may be your teen’s way of protecting themselves or trying to gain a sense of control in a challenging situation. As difficult as it may be, resist the temptation to react with anger or frustration of your own, instead, try these 10 tips:

Stay calm, carry on

When faced with ear-piercing silence, it’s essential to stay calm. Resist the urge to shout or beg for a response. Instead of reacting impulsively, take a deep breath.

Be a good listener

Your teen’s silence may carry hidden meanings and emotions. Tune in to their nonverbal cues and body language to grasp what they might be trying to convey. Sometimes, teens find it challenging to put their thoughts into words, so being a patient and attentive listener can encourage them to verbalise their feelings.

Pick the right time and place

Trying to break the silence during a loud family gathering or a tense atmosphere might not be the best approach. Choose a calm and comfortable setting where your teen feels safe to open up. A one-on-one heart-to-heart conversation can be the ideal stage for fostering connection and understanding.

Break the ice with humour

Laughter can create a bridge between you and your teen, leading to more meaningful communication. Crack a few jokes or share a funny story to lighten the mood.

Empathise with their feelings

Acknowledge your teen’s feelings without judgment or criticism. Let them know that you’re there to support and understand, and they can always talk to you when they’re ready.

Play the waiting game

Remember, all of us, adults included, sometimes need moments of pause and silence to compose ourselves. Sometimes, giving your teen some space and time to collect their thoughts is all they need to break the silence voluntarily.

Lead by example

Show your teen the importance of healthy communication by being open, honest, and respectful in your own interactions.

Encourage healthy outlets

Teenagers often experience a whirlwind of emotions, and it’s essential to encourage healthy ways to express themselves. Suggest activities like writing in a journal, painting, or engaging in sports to help them channel their feelings constructively.

Seek professional support if needed

Sometimes, the silent treatment may be a sign of deeper emotional issues that your teen is struggling to express. If the silence persists or you notice other concerning behaviors, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in working with teenagers.