Peer group acceptance and connection are fundamental markers of well-being. However, for some, extending ourselves socially is more difficult than for others.
In today’s rapidly evolving world, the importance of social-emotional skills development in children cannot be overstated. Social-emotional skills are defined as a set of abilities that enable individuals to understand and manage their emotions, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. While academic achievement is often prioritised, fostering strong social-emotional skills is equally critical in ensuring the holistic development of a child.
The social physiology of our brains
The human brain has evolved to adapt to the dynamic environments we find ourselves in. Our social thinking enables us to respond to threats, connect with others, show empathy, plan, and navigate complex situations. For some individuals, navigating this world can be incredibly difficult, as social pain becomes intertwined with their experiences of connection.
Remarkably, the brain interprets social pain and ridicule in the same way it processes physical pain. To put this into perspective, consider the experience of touching a hot plate – after burning yourself once, you are naturally on guard the next time you prepare to cook. Similarly, when someone experiences social exclusion and ridicule, they become automatically vigilant, constantly on alert to avoid further social pain. However, these challenging experiences, no matter how painful, are also crucial for our growth. They help build our social and emotional understanding of people and experiences. Through navigating social pain, we learn resilience, empathy, and the nuances of human interaction. These lessons are essential for personal development and are foundational in shaping our ability to form meaningful connections.
Despite the valuable lessons that can be gained from these experiences, children must be guided through the development of the social skills necessary to navigate such challenges. This assists in building the resilience and emotional intelligence needed to manage social interactions more effectively, not only aiding in their immediate ability to form and maintain healthy relationships but also equip them with strategies to potentially avoid social pain in the future.
By learning constructive conflict resolution, effective communication, and empathy, children can better understand and engage with those around them, fostering a more inclusive and supportive social environment.
You have heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”, so let’s look at some important components of that village when it comes to building a child’s social-emotional development:
Parenting: Parents play a pivotal role in their child’s social-emotional development by modelling appropriate behaviours, engaging in open communication, and helping with feeling identification and conversation. Demonstrating empathy and calm conflict resolution sets a powerful example for children to follow. Encouraging open dialogue creates a safe space for children to express their thoughts and feelings while discussing and identifying emotions helps them understand and manage their own and others’ emotions.
Schools: Schools reinforce a team approach to social-emotional development by providing dedicated spaces and professionals for social-emotional learning. By integrating these topics into the curriculum, schools create environments where students can learn and practise essential skills. Educators can work closely with students during challenging social interactions, guiding them to develop a toolkit of strategies for managing emotions, resolving conflicts, and building positive relationships.
Social extension: Team sports and activities are essential for developing social skills, and providing a structured environment for children to interact, cooperate, and build relationships. These settings foster teamwork, communication, and empathy while offering opportunities to practise conversational skills around shared interests. Through team activities, children learn to navigate social dynamics, manage conflicts, and work towards common goals, enhancing their overall social and emotional development.
In conclusion, the development of social-emotional skills is essential for children’s overall growth and success. By continuously practising these skills in various settings – whether at home, in school, or through team sports- children can build the resilience and emotional intelligence needed to navigate their social worlds confidently.
Programmes like LinkUp, provided by Bellavista S.H.A.R.E., offer invaluable resources for structured practice and development, ensuring that children are well-equipped to form meaningful connections and thrive in their interactions. With consistent support and opportunities for practice, we can help our children develop the social skills they need for a bright and successful future. For more information, visit Bellavista School’s website.
Article supplied by Drew Holman-Fitzpatrick, Clinical Social Worker at Bellavista School, and Jodie du Preez, Drama Therapist at Bellavista School
