So it is a new year, with new promises and expectations – new plans and new goals. I love making plans; I’m always planning everything in advance – the ‘A’ type in me , call it OCD, or whichever.
Having a child really makes planning difficult. One thing I’ve learnt through it is that it’s not the planning that is important, it’s being able to be flexible.
I remember when Daniel was a baby, it was much easier to have a routine in place, feeding times etc. As he grew older, it became more difficult. But once I changed my mind set and stopped stressing so much about the plans being on track, and learnt that being flexible makes it much easier – I found a happy medium. The challenge was to see what new change I could come to terms with and feel proud of being able to go through with the diversions with my A-type personality.
So new beginnings, new plans and the age-old New Year’s resolutions. Our annual promises to ourselves to get fitter, fatter, thinner, stop bad habits blah blah blah…
On the quirkology website, an experiment was conducted to see how many people could actually stick to their resolutions. In 2007, the site tracked over 3 000 people attempting to achieve a range of resolutions – including losing weight, visiting the gym, quitting smoking and drinking less. At the start of the study, 52% of participants were confident of success. One year later, only 12% actually achieved their goal. The study uncovered why so many people fail, and what can be done to help ensure success.
During the experiment, people were randomly placed into one of several groups, and asked to follow different advice. Large differences emerged between the approaches that best suited men and women. They found that men were more likely to succeed when asked to engage in either goal setting or focusing on the rewards associated with achieving their goal. Women were more successful when they told their friends and family about their resolution.
The site also offers hints for achieving these resolutions: Here are a few,
•Make only one. Many people make the mistake of trying to achieve too much. (I like to say my New Year’s resolution is NOT to make New Year’s resolutions)
•Choose something new, or approach an old problem in a new way. For example, instead of trying to lose 10 kilograms, try exercising more.
•Make it personal – Don’t run with the crowd and go with the usual resolutions. Instead think about what you really want out of life, so think about finishing that novel, or learning to play an instrument, rather than just losing weight and getting to the gym.
I say we should also be less hard on ourselves, relax a bit and maybe make our resolutions mid-year instead of at the beginning of the year. There is so much to contend with as it is at the new year, do it in July when there is time to focus on what you want out of life, instead of the end of the year with Christmas, holidays and lots of other things to fight through.
Often we are so very busy that we don’t make the correct goals for ourselves. We need to be in a calm state – relaxed and ready mentally to focus on achieving a goal.
However, if I were to make a resolution this year, I can think of one thing in particular that needs serious attention – it is patience. I don’t really have much to speak of, so I think to be realistic, instead of saying I need to learn to have more patience, I will say that I need to learn to find some patience somewhere – and install it from scratch! Then baby steps and maybe I can say that I want to have more patience…
So for me, this year is about less planning, more flexibility and having more fun!
And of course, to try and find out where to find patience.
Love live and shine!
