A truly inspirational couple celebrated their 28th anniversary in style. The lovebirds dated for five years before saying their vows. In an exclusive interview with Mpumalanga News, they shared their love story.
Mpumalanga News (MN): What is the secret to a happy marriage?
Mmeli and Christine Simelane: When you married your partner you made vows to God, to his or her family, to your friends and to your children born and yet-to-be born, and to yourself. If you disconnect from those vows, you have not only disconnected yourself from your partner, but from all the people mentioned, and as a result their combined wrath and anger will destroy you. The secret to a happy marriage is none other than genuinely loving and acknowledging each other.
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MN: What kept you in your union for this long?
The Simelanes: Honest forgiveness. When you forgive your partner, don’t just forgive for sake of peace, but for the union. Also know that love is not something that just happens, it must be cultivated. We carefully nurtured and cherished our love over the past 28 years for it to endure the stress of two imperfect people living together. We take our responsibilities seriously; as John Graham once said, “Even if marriages are made in heaven, man has to be responsible for its maintenance.” We also break up routines often, have unexpected romantic surprises and present gifts for no special occasion or reason.
MN: How can couples solve their problems?
The Simelanes: By becoming sensitive to each others’ needs, discussing differences and making adjustments for each other to achieve satisfaction. We can confidently say that renewed love, trust and intimacy are possible in any marriage or relationship, as long as the couple is willing to take a long, hard look at their relationship and themselves as well. Couples should be honest when dealing with any kind of problem in their marriage. Don’t fake an issue to hide the real one. Don’t involve third parties unnecessarily, unless there is a need.
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MN: How do you stick together through thick and thin?
The Simelanes: Don’t expect your partner to just forgive you. You must ask for forgiveness if you have been at fault. Couples should also be prepared for changes and keeping marriage vows alive. All marriages change and enter into different phases simply because all people do change. These changes do not necessarily mean that you should quit, but they are a reality check you must face together. Remain in love. Make God the reason for your union. Don’t love your partner for any material reason, but for who he or she is. Material goods are not permanent, but who they are, is. Always remember why you married your partner and fight for that reason.
MN: What is your comment on the recent instance of a partner using a TLB to destroy a property out of spite at the end of a relationship?
The Simelanes: Talk things through and try to reach an amicable solution. Don’t buy your partner something that you won’t be willing to part with in case your relationship fails.
