ERMELO – After enduring abuse from her ex-husband for almost a decade, a mother of two found the courage to leave her marriage for the sake of her children, one of them being sexually abused by him.
Educator, Thembi Thwala from KaNyamazane, vividly remembers the day she found out she was pregnant and could not wait to share the news with her husband. Unfortunately, he was not as pleased and instructed her to get an abortion.
She shares her story:
“After we got married in 2005, my ex-husband constantly mentioned how he longed to have a daughter, but when I told him I was expecting a child, he changed from that day. The abuse started and it was so bad that he would kick my tummy and beat me to a pulp.”
She admits the red flags were there, but ignored them, thinking he would change.
“On our one-year wedding anniversary, our daughter was three months old and he asked me to invite one of my relatives to have lunch and drinks that afternoon. All was well until in the evening when he asked to borrow my phone.
It was decided that my relative would sleep with me and the baby and he would use my older son’s bed. But we were shocked when he came back late at night and started making advances on her. He told her to take off her clothes after he had beaten me and tied me up.”
Thwala said she confided in her mother-in-law who would sometimes take her and the children in when the situation was bad, up to the day her ex-husband asked for a divorce, and was arrested for the rape of his daughter.
“I will not forget the day my child described her father’s manhood, detailing how he would call her to the bathroom and tell her to touch it. I decided to confront him that evening when he returned, and he did not deny it. I cried because this was his daughter, who was five at the time,” she said.
Their divorce was finalised and her ex-husband is currently in custody for rape, awaiting sentencing. Thwala said even though she is free from him, she has not yet forgiven him, but she remains strong for her children, and hopes in time she will heal.
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