Support can make a difference

MBOMBELA – When people initially discover they have cancer, they may feel overwhelmed, vulnerable and alone.

People Living with Cancer (PLWC) believe that one should not be alone in their journey with this disease.

It is a time where support can make all the difference, specifically support from someone who has had a first-hand experience of suffering through cancer with an intimate knowledge of the processes involved.

For Heloise de Villiers of Nelspruit cancer ran in her family. The word “cancer” conjured up feelings of fear, dread and anxiety – not always for her but mainly for her loved ones.

“How are they going to take the news? How will I make them realise that just knowing they are there with a helping hand and a hug is more than enough? All these questions hovered in my mind but it had to happen that I had to tell them,” says Heloise.

She lost her mother and her aunt to cancer. At 55, the same age as her mother was when she was diagnosed, Heloise was told she had breast cancer. Telling her family was the most difficult thing she had ever had to do.

“I was more concerned about how my family would take the news, more than myself. When I heard I had it, I accepted it and I did not go through the stages of denial, anger and acceptance.

“The thought of losing my hair bothered me more than anything,” she says. “My family and friends could not understand this and said, ‘But Heloise, you are going to lose your breasts and you did not cry, but the loss of your hair is worse?’ I remember saying to them that if I have no hair people would know that I had cancer and they would feel sorry for me! I did not want pity from the outside world!”

“Your cancer will affect everyone involved in your life and everyone who cares about you,” says Heloise. “Remember that it is hard for them too, but also remember that it is the disease which is causing the problems, not you. With one phone call, an invitation to lunch, a glass of wine, sitting, chatting and laughing, the world once again became a sparkling place. The philosophy of ubuntu is more prevalent in the journey of cancer than anywhere else. The struggle against it is difficult and it can be a long, lonely road, but with the incredible support and love I received from family, friends and colleagues everything was possible and there was no way I could ever have given up.”

Support is one of PLWC’s pillars, which is why Cancer Buddies, a free support network, was established in 2002. Linda Greef, co-founder, says, “Cancer Buddies allows patients to interact with and receive practical advice and support from survivors who have a similar profile and disease, and who have regained their lives. Heloise de Villiers of Nelspruit is one of the individuals willing to offer support.”

Tyron Hansen, who is product manager of Dulcolax, which sponsors Cancer Buddies, says the support system is a critical network for people living with the disease. “Its work touches the lives of so many which is why Dulcolax is so passionate about supporting this initiative.”

Should you, a friend or a family member be diagnosed with cancer and would like more information on PLWC or Cancer Buddies contact 0800-03-33-37, visit their websites www.cancerbuddies.org.za or www.plwc.org.za or email info@plwc.org.za