With the potential of new beginnings and opportunities, the new year should fill you with excitement and hope to start afresh. However many New Year’s resolutions could soon become failures and habits leaving you uncertain, insecure and even gloomy about the road ahead.
“The cause of our inability to stick to well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions can be attributed to a lack of understanding as to how people change, but particularly the role of habits,” said Tony de Gouveia, a clinical psychologist at Akeso Clinic.
He goes on to explain that 90 per cent of our normal behaviour is based on our habits. “We are creatures of habits, both good and successful ones, but also bad and unsuccessful ones. However, we can change our bad habits. The average response time is 21 days or approximately three to four weeks, but the problem is that most people give up before then.”
De Gouveia added that the best way to face changes and challenges that may come up is to confront them head-on. “We need to set ‘Smart’ goals. These are goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-frame specific. This acronym ensures that these goals happen, unlike many New Year’s resolutions.
“Coping mechanisms are also essential in ensuring that you are able to deal with setbacks.”
De Gouveia said that positive habits, when repeated over time, eventually become automatic. He also highlighted that is is also important to avoid pitfalls such as complacency, arrogance and avoidance.
“Each of these poses its own dangers which include, primarily, being out of sync with the reality/environment and more importantly the people, family and friends around you.”
Although there may be times when you feel that you simply cannot cope and then gradually slide into major clinical depression. This is very often a gradual and insidious process if no remedial action is taken, like getting into some form of counselling and psychotherapy for example.
“Up to 20 per cent of the world population experiences some form of non-coping and depression. Firstly, you should not personalise depression or not be coping. Secondly, help is at hand; there are many healthcare professionals in both state and private healthcare facilities who are ready and waiting to assist.”
He added that with the necessary professional assistance as well as a mindful approach to life, those who feel despondent and inadequate may overcome the sense of helplessness and achieve their goals for the year.
Have these tips helped you? Share your thoughts with us by emailing our group editor, Daniella Potter, at daniellap@caxton.co.za
