Finding time alone with each of your children will always be a problem for twin parents. Is it possible to give twins everything they need while in each other’s company or do twins need one-on-one time with mom or dad?
Finding the time
Jessica’s nightly routine began when she finally placed her 2-year-old twins, Paige and James, in their cribs. She loaded the dishwasher with their sticky sippy cups, swept up toys from the floor, and eventually wiped up the dried apple juice that had fallen on the kitchen floor during lunch. After completing those domestic responsibilities, she took a final walk down the hallway, peering into their Disney-themed bedroom to check on them. Along with relief at that moment, Jessica immediately began to contemplate the same thinking she had every night: Did she offer each child enough attention today?
Why is bonding time necessary?
According to experts, it is critical for children to spend time bonding with their parents.
“Providing your child with individualised attention sends the message that they are cherished,” explains clinical psychologist Kat Lewitzke. “Your child then internalises this experience, allowing them to develop self-esteem and confidence, which can lead to future success.”
Additionally, according to 2012 research from the University of Iowa, children who have good parental attachments are “less likely to be troubled, aggressive, or exhibit other emotional and behavioural problems as they enter school.”
But with such a busy schedule, how can you find time to bond with each child when you have twins? Here are four suggestions.
Reach out to friends and family
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most people like to feel needed. Your friends or family will enjoy being invited over to be with one of your twins so that you can take some time to be with the other. If friends or family are unavailable, use a sitter. There’s no reason why you can’t take just one twin to the shops with you and leave the other at home with a sitter. Swap around which of your children goes out each time so that they all get a turn to spend time with you.
Take advantage of bath time
Consider rotating bath days and spending extra splish splash time with each child. Bathtime may be a difficult task with numerous children, so this is another excellent option to have some “one on one time”. Just make sure the other twin who isn’t taking a bath are in a safe place so you can keep all eyes on your child in the bath.
Use different hobbies for bonding time
As your twins get a little older, they will most likely start to show an interest in different things. Try to use this to get some one-on-one time. So, if one twin is taking ballet lessons and the other is taking football lessons, each parent could take one child to their lesson. This squeezes in extra bonding time with each child. Switch things up every week.
Take advantage of early mornings
No matter how hard you try to get your twins on the same schedule, it is unavoidable that they will not wake up at the same time. One child will be an early riser, while the other will sleep a little longer. The time you have when one of your children is sleeping is ideal for spending valuable one-on-one time with your other child. Cuddle in bed or on the couch, read books or build puzzles together. Another great idea to help with bonding with twins is to stagger naptimes slightly, by about 20-30 minutes, so that you have a little personal time with each child.
