Child discipline hacks for discouraged parents

Disciplining young children requires patience and a lot of effort, but when there are clearly defined boundaries in place, children feel loved and secure, and they will appreciate you for maintaining these boundaries if you do so with love and justice.

How to discipline your child effectively

To discipline children effectively, you need to be firm and consistent in your approach. No one says it will be easy to apply the discipline guidelines below, but after scouring countless parenting books and articles, these are the ones that work for most parents.

Don’t shout – speak!

Make sure your request is heard and clearly understood by your child. Be simple, straightforward, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean. There is no point in shouting from the kitchen to your children that the TV goes off in five minutes. They may either pretend not to hear you or may actually not be listening. A good tip for getting your point across to young children is to physically go down to their level and give an instruction while making eye contact.

Don’t bend your own rules

Be consistent in your approach to discipline. If there’s a “maybe” in your sentence, be sure that children will hang on to that and use your lack of conviction to bend the rules. You also need to have the same rules for each day and for each child.

Show a united front

Make sure both parents agree on the rules and support each other. If you are going to relax the bedtime rules over weekends, for example, ensure that your partner is aware of this. Children learn very early that parents can be manipulated and played off against each other. Even if you don’t really agree with your partner’s decision, support him in front of the children and argue your case behind closed doors afterward.

Be firm yet loving in your approach

You want your children to listen and obey you because they know it is the right thing to do and that you make rules because you care about their health, welfare, and happiness. If rules are only obeyed out of fear, you will never know if your child is obeying you because they realise that you have their best interests at heart, or just because a smack is the other option. Take time to explain why you are enforcing a rule; it might not work the first time, but if you are consistent and repetitive it will hopefully sink in eventually.

Remain calm

While you are being firm and enforcing a rule, try to remain calm at the same time. Screaming and punching the wall will only deplete you of the necessary energy needed to bath, feed, and get them to sleep later and what’s more, they will feel justified in throwing a tantrum if they see Mommy doing it too!

Teach your child about consequences

“It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes” is a clear direction. Now follow through on this. You have given a five-minute warning and when the time is up, they need to obey you. If the child refuses, they need to know that they will have to go without a bedtime book, for example.