Stop trying to be the “cool” parent! Here’s why…

We all know the parents who are trying to be cool. Sometimes you dress like your teens or use teen lingo. We assume you know who you are! We all know the parents who are trying to be cool. Sadly, despite your good intentions, you are nonetheless on the wrong track.

You are very likely trying too hard to be liked and approved of by your kids and their friends. While you may want to be your kids’ friends in order to facilitate good and open communication and honest conversations, despite your good intentions, this style of parenting is not the way to go. At one end of the spectrum, parents who want to be cool friends with their kids share their clothing.

On the other end of the spectrum are the parents who drink and smoke with their kids and their kids’ friends in an effort to be liked. While most parents are trying to do the right thing, you may be a bit misguided in your attempts to do the right thing. And, this sort of parenting is simply not ‘cool’. These behaviors need to be tweaked and your attitudes adjusted a bit.

Here are a few things you should know if you’re trying to be the “cool” parent:

Your teens don’t want you to be cool

They want, instead, for you to act like their parents, not their friends. It is their turn to be a teen now not yours. You had your turn. Do you really want to repeat those years?

Your “coolness” is embarrassing to your teen

You should not be wearing clothing made by teens simply because it still fits you. Teens get embarrassed when you engage in copycat behaviour.

Being cool won’t open communication channels

There is no evidence to suggest that teens confide in ‘cool’ parents any more frequently or honestly. On the other hand, there is reason to believe that they are more inclined to confide in parents who remain calm and collected when the teens speak.

Being cool gives up your role as an authority figure

This is not a good role to part with. Teens not only need authority figures in their lives, but they thrive when their parents set limits, boundaries, and a firm structure. Cool parents are afraid to set limits because they don’t want their kids to get angry with them. If your kids, especially teens, have never been angry with you, then something is very wrong.

Embrace your role as a parent

This means that your primary job is to keep your kids safe and on the right path. You might even feel less stressed if you don’t have to work so hard at trying to be cool. And, the other parents will also be grateful not to be compared to you.