Generally speaking, bikers are bad!

I’ve heard of them flocking together, consuming gallons of beer and making extremely loud burping noises. I know of some bikers that don’t pay tolls. If you sleep behind your steering wheel on the highway, they purposefully come screaming past you to give you a mild cardiac arrest. They are collectors of car mirrors – which must be out of vanity? And rumor has it that some of them have never, ever washed. As in, ever!   But has the thought crossed your mind that they intentionally create that facade? If it weren’t for that outlawed temper, people might think of them as society’s heroes. Then they’d have to start wearing colorful capes, and the capes will get tangled up in their sprockets, and it will result in choked bikers lying wringing all over the road, gasping for air.   Can’t have that!   That disguise crumbles away when in the company of four-feet-fur people. Animals don’t expect anyone to wear silly squares of cloth dangling from one’s neck. They don’t even expect you to wear a panty over your broek. They’ll sniff your crotch regardless.   A group of us decided to support the puggles from Pug Rescue South Africa this year. We got together for a quick wake-up-brew, but Smotter should maybe have had a brew before he left the house that morning. He decided to descend the steps at PLTFRM Wolwespruit with his Triumph 1050 Sprint. It was spectacular and slightly badass…   We made up a small convoy on our way to Benoni, with bulging backpacks filled with cans of Husky (apparently the choice of spoiled pugs). At Pug Rescue, we were warmly welcomed by Cheryl and Malcolm Gaw, Queen and King Pug.   They gave us an intro to the organisation, the background information about how it all started, which snowballed into them quitting their day jobs and taking up rescuing pugs full-time. All the way up to what they achieve every single day, which is astounding! Back in 2008 they recued one pug, which became two pugs and magically morphed into 250 pugs! They do not just do first-come-first-served adoptions. They place animals with suitable forever families, provide all the medical care the sick and lame ones need, and host the elderly and unadoptable dogs till they cross over rainbow bridge. They have daily and weekly fundraising events, they have volunteers over weekends and run this project as a business – not as a begging non-profit org. Their facilities are to snort for! There are small zinc houses, camped yards, lovely lawns, and assistants available 24/7. They have different sections for newbies, for ill doggos, for old farts, for quarantine questionables, and even a garage converted into a space for those that are at the end of their days. They know all the common bugs and quirks these hairies get. And best of all, they know every single one of the 200-plus pugs’ names; calling an assistant to remove Maggie from the playpen before Zettie harasses her. Cheryl and Malcolm’s passion (with a hearty dose of stubbornness) has grown this operation far beyond just rescuing pugs. They also do outreach days in informal settlements, with checkups, vaccinations and spaying. They hope to buy the adjacent plot to open a medical pet facility for less fortunate families. The Gaws might have small dogs, but they have BIG dreams!   A quick round at the Pug Café! We left there covered in pug snot and fawn hair all over our burly jackets. The smell of pug farts and petrol fumes filling our souls. Smiling is a common symptom of good deeds done. Our company, Paw Print Pet Cremation (www.petangels.co.za), made a cash donation. And everybody else chipped in with more coins and cans and cuddles.   We ended the day with a Mexican lunch and some of Jose’s voggies. I’m still not convinced bikers hide their kindheartedness convincingly… Being a biker, you can only be passionate. One will never take up such a dangerous hobby if you are not zealous about something as ardent as a can sprouting wheels and dangling a chain. Can you fathom how passionate they must be about life, not only for themselves, but for all? Pugs are a lot of dog in a small space; bikers hide a small heart in a large hairy chest! A poem by Ernst Jandle (1963) was about a boy called Otto sending his badly-behaved pug away. He begins to miss it and calls it back. The reaction of the returning pug is, however, not quite what he expected: it vomits. OTTOS MOPS ottos mops trotzt otto: fort mops fort ottos mops hopst fort otto: soso otto holt koks otto holt obst otto horcht otto: mops mops otto hofft ottos mops klopft otto: komm mops komm ottos mops kommt ottos mops kotzt otto: ogottogott *Thanx to everybody for their photos, especial the official photographer HANNELIE VAN SCHALKWYK* CHIKITA PRODUCTIONS PRESENT: A yearly get together of a small group of biker friends to go spoil some rescue dogs. This year we supported Pug Rescue South Africa. Have you ever seen so many happy snot noses? Video produced by Jolandi Mentz (December 6, 2020) https://youtu.be/lALbmyrDsck HONESTY NEWSLETTER! It feels like I’m giving all my honesty money away to someone else. Not that I mind if it goes to a place like Pug Rescue, but the ones rukking my pocket are the petrol-okes, the tyre-okes, the little reflective-glass-pieces-on-my-handlebars-that-shatters-every-time-I-keel-over-okes. If you’re familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain’t much different… I’m a completely unpaid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you’ve received. If you don’t find it particularly amusing, then you fork out no dosh. I won’t stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and I love sharing my stories. As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account: skinny@tankgirls.co.za   Yelping where we can! https://www.facebook.com/SkinnyBikerChicken Skinny www.tankgirls.co.za www.facebook.com/SkinnyBikerChicken www.pinterest.com/skinny400 YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk Instagram: @skinnyvanschalkwyk