“Love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
A well-known phrase from the late former president Nelson Mandela’s book A Long Walk to Freedom.
Mr Mandela pointed out that no one is born hating another person because of who they inherently are. Things like skin colour, background and religion, he said, should not spark hate.
But is it okay to hate someone who went out of their way to deserve it?
The burglar that invaded your privacy. The poacher who butchered a vulnerable rhino.
Is it okay to hate the farm attacker who tied you up, stuffed cloth into your mouth and threatened to rape your wife and daughter? Don’t these people deserve your hatred?
Some of us are inclined to hate those who hurt us. The Bakkers from Barberton are not “some of us.”
In today’s Lowvelder, Matt Bakker recounts going through a farm attack on Saturday night. His wife and children – aged 5, 10 and 15 – were ordered to lie on the ground. The mouths of everyone but the youngest child were taped shut and they were accosted by six armed gunmen on the hunt for more weapons. Read more on the attack here.
They kept their cool and Bakker’s son explained to the burglars that they did not own any guns. He did so in SiSwati.
Matt Bakker made the following comments after Saturday night’s attack:
“We, as South Africans, need to learn the concept of Ubuntu. We are all human beings who share suffering, pain, joy, happiness. We need to help our brothers and sisters and care about one another. South Africans have so much love to give, yet our news is filled with all the negativity and hatred. Let’s focus more on doing the best we can, individually, to heal this country instead of bemoan our troubles.
“We all experience suffering in one way or another, but we can only heal through helping others. Archbishop Desmond Tutu said, ‘We are wired to be caring for the other and generous to each other’,” concluded Matt.
ALSO READ: The Bakkers care for children in need
I honestly do not know whether I would have been able to respond with the same attitude if I had been the victim.
I struggle when it comes to loving those who have hurt me. Most of us probably aspire to this, but it remains nothing more than a fuzzy ideal. The hatred that runs free in this world makes unconditional love seem impossible.
We must have been taught to hate at some point. (It’s either that or we were born with the natural tendency to hate rather than to love. There are a million reasons why I do not believe that we were born with the propensity to hate.)
Another excerpt comes up.
“People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
The Bakkers have given me hope and something to aspire to.
We are faced with so many hateful, discriminatory and polarising statements. The online era hasn’t helped. Our Facebook feeds dish up negative headlines about racists using the k-word, clashing religions that cause violence, homophobes that spread hurt, the list goes on.
Taking offence, being jealous, stereotyping, insulting, discriminating unfairly… these are all acts performed by the human ego. Ubuntu requires a different mind set. It requires realising that my pain is not more important that someone else’s pain. It requires a community-focused view where the interests of others weigh as much as my own, regardless of the pain that someone else may have caused me.
This reminds me of Invictus, a poem by William Earnst Henley – reportedly one of Mr Mandela’s favourites. Invictus is Latin for “unconquerable” or “undefeated.” The poem is about courage and holding on to one’s dignity despite the indignities we are sometimes faced with.
Ubuntu is a dignified concept. Ubuntu is what we should hold on to when faced with hatred and polarisation.
How on earth am I going to implement this?
Matt Bakker has step one worked out: “Let’s focus more on doing the best we can, individually, to heal this country instead of bemoan our troubles.”
I don’t know whether I can do much, but here’s what I can do:
I can refuse to entertain polarising content on my social media news feeds.
I can take a stand against discrimination both online and offline.
I can wake up in the morning and decide to love unconditionally.
I can make a point of seeing the beauty and the good in people every day.
Will I be successful at all times? I hope so…
But I will be at least one step closer to Matt Bakker’s view of society and our place in it.
