Opposites attract and what motivates your partner will most likely be something that does not particularly interest you.
Remember: Two opposites make a whole and you and your partner create your ‘whole’ by your differences and similarities. You can accept what drives your partner by listing how that which drives him, benefits you and your relationship.
4. Be the best of friends
There is nobody you like as much as your partner otherwise you would not have chosen to get married and create a life together. Remember that.
Out of all the millions of people on this planet, you chose each other because you perceived that you see far more likes than dislikes in each other. There is also nobody you spend more time with.
Look out for each other, play together and laugh together. You will go far to find another friend so dedicated to you.
5. Develop a healthy intimate life
Intimacy is the cement of a relationship as long as it is seen as only an important part, not the only important part.
Intimacy in a relationship works like a see-saw; one partner wants it more than the other one and then it shifts and you change roles and the other one wants it more. There is no magic formula for frequency, it is what works for both of you.
Open and honest communication of what you like and dislike and aiming to bring pleasure to your partner will bear fruit. Sex is a driving force and when there is a perception of a void, it can cause stress and tension. Develop a healthy sex life that brings both joy and closeness.
6. Fight complacency
If you know what your partner likes, surprise them unexpectedly with a love gift, even if it is their favourite chocolate. Create “traditions” in your relationship that communicate the message to each other that you appreciate and value one another.
Learn to speak the love language of your partner and help your partner to know what your love language is. It does not matter what it is, it is unique to you and your life partner’s love language is unique to them. If you do for your partner what is important to them, they will do the same for you. Everybody likes to be appreciated.
7. Have realistic expectations
Know your partner, love your partner and appreciate your partner for who they are. Your partner is not you and has their own thoughts, ideas, likes, and dislikes. If you wish for your partner to be who you want them to be, you are creating unrealistic expectations, and you will soon feel angry, bitter and challenged.
Keep on asking the quality question: “How is, who my partner is, benefiting and serving me in what is important to me?”. Stop injecting and projecting your values and priorities on your partner and accept your partner as your opposite.
Life is not a fairy tale, but you can create your happily ever after with the right mindset. To be loved and to love is one of lives greatest gifts to humanity.
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