6 annoying toddler habits that are actually beneficial to their development

You may feel your toddler is designed to test you. Your loving, gentle baby has, almost overnight, become this whining, fractious being whose sole vocabulary seems to consist of the word “No” – usually loudly and vehemently said with their finger lodged firmly up their nose. This is one of those good news/bad news scenarios, as most of these annoying toddler habits and tendencies are their way of learning about their world and themselves – they’re actually important milestone moments.

Also read: Why consistency and routine are important for toddlers

Playing with food

You spent ages preparing a home-cooked, nutritious meal for your toddler only for them to mush most of it into their hair and clothes while feeding it to the dog and smearing it on their high chair. Don’t lose patience with this annoying habit too quickly.

Research published in the journal Developmental Science found that messy eaters are better and faster learners than their cleaner counterparts. The study, which looked at a group of 72 toddlers, found that those who played, smooshed and even threw their food, learned word associations quicker than those who didn’t, and were able to either correctly name or identify them. The best place for this is a high chair, with further research finding that those who sit in high chairs learn faster than those who sat at a table. And, said associate professor (and study leader) Larissa Sameulson, this early learning is linked to improved cognitive development later in life.

Attention of a goldfish

Toddlers have a very limited attention span. One minute you could be walking in the garden and the next, you almost trip over your child, who has stopped to investigate a blade of grass. And while this is fine when you have time on your hands, it can be extremely frustrating if this is happening when you are on a time limit. The experts share that some activities can take much longer than expected due to your toddler’s distracted nature. This is not because they want to drive you completely dilly, it’s their way of taking in the world around them, learning and storing information.

Making a mess

Children, and toddlers in particular, generally love making a mess, be it with building blocks, finger painting, drawing on the walls, or making mud pies on your nicely cleaned tiled floor. This sensory and creative play is good for your toddler’s development in a number of ways. Research reveals that embracing this play (within reason), builds your toddler’s neural connections that help develop thought, learning and creativity. Plus, this benefits language development, cognitive growth, fine- and gross-motor skills development, problem-solving and social interaction. Of course, certain behaviour is completely unacceptable (like drawing on the walls). However, areas of creative play in your home will help create boundaries and safe zones for this creativity to occur.

Pushing boundaries

As quick as you set a rule, your toddler is bound to push against this and you seem to spend all your time trying to reason with them. You seem to spend your time trying to reason. Unfortunately, pushing boundaries is a vital part of their development. Boundaries are important as they help set limits, which in turn makes them feel safe and secure.

No means no

You excitedly wanted them to talk, showing them picture books and allowing them to explore their world as you point out names and words – and it seems that has all gone out the window with their favourite word of the day: “No”. This blatant defiance is their way of finding their independence. For the first year or so of their lives, your baby doesn’t see themselves as a separate entity to you (which is why they cry so broken-heartedly when you walk away from them, as they think you have left them forever). This changes during their second year, as they slowly starts to realise that they are their own person.

However, by encouraging them to do certain things on their own, like choosing and putting on their own shoes, it may ease other battles like not being allowed to wear their swimming costume in the middle of winter. Give them some chores that are theirs alone, like holding the dustpan or helping to feed the cats. Most of all, try to be as patient as possible. It’s not that easy putting both legs into pants or navigating a fork to their mouths, but allowing them this independence will also help them gain confidence, learn their boundaries, and improve them motor skills.

Also read: 8 steps to take when your toddler says no

Throwing the mother of all tantrums

One minute they’re a smiling, happy baby and the next, they’re writhing on the floor screaming, howling and completely out of control, as you stand by completely perplexed at what has just happened. This is, unfortunately, a fact of toddler life. This behaviour can begin as early as 12 months and continue to the age of four. Put yourself in their size four sneakers for a moment – they are learning about their world at a rapid rate, but can’t fully verbalise their intentions (or for that matter, fully control their limbs and appendages). Their tantrum is their way of trying to make sense of their world and their surrounds.

Also read: IN PICTURES: Some of the oddest reasons behind temper tantrums

Understanding and identifying the root of their tantrum can help both of you deal with it. The most common causes are: frustration, asserting independence, feeling overwhelmed, feeling a lack of control, too few or too many limits, hunger, tiredness, overstimulation or boredom.

Kim Bell is a wife, mother of two teenagers and a lover of research and the way words flow and meld together. She has been in the media industry for over 20 years, and yet still learns more about life from her children every day. You can learn more about Kim Bell here.