Supermom’s advice on raising an autistic child

Autistic children require patience, support and most of all, love, says Hoedspruit super mom Thina Wolmarans who has been raising her autistic eight-year-old son, Leander.

Thina, who is a teacher by profession, left her teaching job to enroll for an honours degree in Special Needs Education with the University of South Africa (Unisa).

“This decision was based on professional and personal experiences.

The fact that I had so many learners in my class that were experiencing barriers to learning and my own son that is on the autism spectrum disorder, motivated me to learn more about special needs education in order to help him and the learners in my class,” she said.

She was a teacher at Lumukisa Preparatory School in Acornhoek and at the time of her resignation she was the deputy principal.

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The mother of three has dedicated her life to looking out for her family. She has another son Zehan (11) and a daughter, Meya (6).

“When I resigned in 2019, it was a very tough decision.

I worked for there for 14 years. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough time to give 100% at school and give 100% at home.  

I found it very difficult to balance my responsibilities at work and at home.

I had to choose between Lumukisa and my children. I chose my children,” she said.

Her aim is to help children on the autism spectrum whose parents don’t have the knowledge or resources to successfully help them. Thina said raising her autistic son is challenging, however there was nothing more rewarding than doing so.

At the age of two Leander was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

The brave mom said when her child was born premature and ill, it was an extremely tough and emotional time for her family as Leander’s doctors made it clear he will have to fight very hard to survive. Leander won the fight and today he is a blessing to his family.

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The Grade 1 learner at Laerskool Drakensig is obsessed with cows and his clever mother incorporates these lovely animals in his school work.

“I work extremely hard with him when it comes to home work and extra school work. He learns things very slowly and differently. I have to incorporate cows in his maths and reading work, otherwise he will quickly loose interest,” she said.

Thina said he has to work much harder than his peers to get something right.

“When he finally does, he will jump up and down out of excitement and flap his hands fast. I had to fight for his right to be accepted and included in a mainstream school,” she said.

Leander does not understand non-verbal communicative behaviour used for social interaction.

He also has extremely poor verbal and non-verbal communication skills and struggles to understand body language.

Thina said the biggest single challenge she had to overcome was accepting that Leander has autism and that he was different.

“I was in denial for years. The moment I accepted it and started to make plans on how to support him, my life and Leander’s life changed.

I decided to love him just the way he is. Children with autism is truly special human beings, they just need guidance to achieve a comfortable place in the larger world.”

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She told Herald that her son was her biggest inspiration and that she used the lockdown period to teach him to read, do maths and we did various activities together.

“My advise to other parents is to always do what you feel is best for your autistic child, if it fails, try again. Try to raise him or her as close to normal as possible. They must never feel that they are different or special. Be firm, consistent and stick to routines where possible.

“I always say, if you don’t have a child of your own with autism, you don’t have an idea how tough it is. Do not let other people’s opinions and views about your child affect you. Always believe in your child, keep going every day and never give up.

“And last but not least, focus on the things they can do and be happy and proud with them. Remember, they worked very hard to get it right.”