My wife and I have been married for 40 years. The truth is, we are still on honeymoon.
But many people say, “Marriage is hard work!”
Recently I discovered one of the biggest obstacles to having a great marriage. It is all in the mathematics. It is what some call the point system. You do something for your spouse and then you wait for your reward. So, I do the dishes and then I give myself points for it. Sounds simple, but it is not. It is then that I realised that the value I place on something may not give me the points I think I deserve.
For example, I take my wife to movies and I give myself 1 000 points. Just because it was a Western, something I enjoy, my wife gives me only 10 points. I wash my wife’s car and I give myself 100 points. She appreciates it but a clean car is not really important to her so she gives me 10 points.
The Bible is clear that showing appreciation is very important. “Give thanks” is often in the Bible.
Luke 6:35, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back”.
Washing the dishes, running a bath, making a cup of coffee for your spouse should, in itself, be your reward.
If you want to have a great marriage, do the maths. It is not about scoring points, it is about love. If you really love someone, doing special things is your reward. The God of maths says, do good and don’t expect a return.
