#MandelaDay: Four ways to support young people – and beyond

South Africa’s children were always one of Nelson Mandela’s greatest loves and priorities.

This is according to George Mwaura, the director of the non-profit organisation Isiseko Imara and a Heartlines Fathers Matter ambassador.

Heartlines is a social and behaviour change organisation that encourages people to live out positive values.

Heartlines does this through its projects, which include producing films and multimedia resources that aim to spark conversations around values and equip people to live out these values. Fathers Matter is a Heartlines initiative to promote the positive and active presence of fathers in children’s lives.

“As we remember him this Mandela Day, we need to consider how best to care for the children around us. This is an especially important question in a country where the absence of fathers has become nothing short of an epidemic. In South Africa, the number of children growing up without a biological father is among the highest in the world – a phenomenon that has severe and far-reaching ramifications. Without present, engaged and supportive fathers, rates of substance abuse, mental health conditions, teenage pregnancies and gender-based violence soar. The social fabric of families and communities begins to unravel.”

But, George said, you don’t need to be a biological father to play a fathering role and to provide the benefits that fathering affords.

“More and more, social fathers are stepping into the gaps left by absent biological fathers, giving children the guidance and encouragement they need to thrive and succeed. This Mandela Day, we need to encourage men in our communities to stand up and serve as social fathers – this July and beyond.”

What social fathering means

George said many of the young boys he works with have very few men or male role models in their lives.

“Often, the men who do exist demonstrate toxic and destructive behaviours that boys run the risk of learning from, imitating and repeating. In worst case scenarios, men prey on boys and other children, causing long-term emotional, psychological and physical trauma.”

As an active social father, here’s what social fathering means to George:

1. Providing safety and security: Social fathering is about protecting children, keeping them away from abusers, and interrupting any trajectory that steers them away from a safe, secure and loving path.

2. Being physically present and emotionally supportive: It goes beyond mentorship. It’s about choosing – intentionally and consistently – to play a fathering role in a child’s life. To be physically present and emotionally supportive. To be curious about their interests and invested in their well-being. To show up for important occasions. To listen to them, challenge them, and help them understand themselves.

3. Being consistent and reliable: Serving as a social father involves being consistent and reliable. Don’t create expectations you can’t meet. The children you’re likely to work with have had adults – and especially men – let them down in such profound ways, that their trust is fragile. You have a responsibility to keep your promises.

4. Offering honesty, love and patience: That said, young people aren’t looking for father figures who are perfect. You simply have to be available, honest, and show an interest in getting to know them. If you have the opportunity to guide, support and raise a child, do so gently, lovingly and patiently.

“This Mandela Day, pay attention to the children around you who need a father figure. If possible, speak to their mothers and guardians, seek out ways to have a positive influence and play a role in making a difference. The benefits of social fathering – for South Africa’s children, for you as a father, and our families and communities – are beyond what we can imagine.”