Yesterday, Krugersdorp High School expelled me. It was a frightening experience. I walked up and down the corridors looking for the kids in my class.
Desperate, I went up to the rugby fields, then to the Peter May Oval and the tuck shop. Out of the blue, a teacher came up to me and said, “Gerrit, we have decided to expel you.” Confused I said, “Why?” And was told that I was loitering on the school grounds. To my relief, I woke up. It was a dream, maybe a nightmare.
Lying in my bed, I tried to figure out where all that came from. My dad was expelled from KHS as a child, true story.
Somehow, deep in my subconscious, I must have a fear of failure or rejection.
Really, at the age of 62, with lots of achievements to my name, could I still feel insecure or vulnerable? It seems so.
It is not only Gerrit Mes. I wonder how many people struggle with real or imaginary issues from long ago. How many people that I meet today will feel a sense of fear?
As I lay in bed, I prayed, thanking God for my family, friends and this great town. Even my old school that was part of the process that made me who I am.
If you can identify with my experience last night, don’t feel alone. We all have fears and insecurities. They often act as reminders of our need for God’s hand in our lives.
