Green Door Vosloorus helps more men
“It has been very difficult for men to show up at a hospital or a clinic, no matter how sick they are, let alone share their feelings.”
Green Door Vosloorus intends to break the stereotypical phrase ‘indoda ayikhali’ (men do not cry) when it opens doors for more men in the Vosloorus community.
This followed a request by the Green Door Vosloorus ambassador, Beauty Maboka, to invite community members to use the Green Door services, especially male victims.
Green Door is an initiative of the Gauteng Department of Community Safety (DCS). The project assists victims of GBV with emotional containment, trauma debriefing and referral to the nearest police stations to open a case.
It is a safe place for victims and accommodates communities in remote areas, especially those that do not have police stations within a 5km proximity.
According to Maboka, the Green Door project has shown progress because it recorded an increase in male clients since late last year.
“It has been tough for men to show up at a hospital or a clinic no matter how sick they are, let alone share their feelings,” said Maboka.
“This shows that Green Door has brought a change in the community and helped men open up.”
She said seeing men come to Green Door and cry during the sessions showed the person had been bottling up a lot.
“He can only cry now because he is in a safe space and knows his issues would not be discussed because confidentiality is guaranteed.”
Maboka said as more men used Green Door, she found the challenge men complained about was that women had lost respect for them and treated them in ways that impaired their dignity.
She said another challenge was marriages where females divorced their partners because of money.
She explained men usually went on a pension earlier than women, and when the women were about to go on their pension, they divorced the men so they did not have to share their pension fund.
“I believe that when we say everything is 50/50, men should not pay lobola. The 50/50 is appropriate to work where we compete with each other with qualifications to get the same salary because we all work to feed our children. But at home, as a woman, you need to be submissive to your husband, and the man has to love and be a responsible husband and father,” said Maboka.
She advised men and women to avoid getting into a relationship and assuming they could fix someone. That person might appear suitable at that moment for the sake of the relationship, but after some time, they will revert to their real character.
“If a woman has qualities you dislike, back off immediately. We need to teach this to our children.
“Talk to children about these things. We cannot resolve these problems until we have an honest, open conversation with our families. Only then can we solve these challenges,” she said.
As much as there was an increase in male victims visiting Green Door Vosloorus, many others might not know about it or are reluctant to take the first step.
Maboka said she was a phone call away and took pride in confidentiality.
“It is when you have taken the first step that you realise how much you punished yourself by not getting the weight off your shoulders and being honest that you need help.”
DCS provided Green Door with shelter and furniture to house victims, equipment like printers and stationery for the ambassadors.
Green Door is at 18125 Mosehla Street, Ext 25, Vosloorus.
Male and female victims may call Maboka on 082 820 7902 to arrange a session.
