Should you tell your child that the Tooth Fairy is a myth?
Here's how you can help ensure your child learns the truth about the Tooth Fairy in the smoothest way possible.
At some point, your child will come to you with the dreaded question: Is the Tooth Fairy real?
Parents need to think ahead of time about what their answer will be about the Tooth Fairy. After all, you don’t want to be caught off guard when the question is posed.
The history of the Tooth Fairy
The tooth fairy story was established to help children cope with the strange and sometimes painful experience of losing teeth. Telling children that a magical fairy will fly into their bed and exchange their baby teeth for a toy, trinket, or money can make dealing with tooth loss more bearable.
At what age do children start questioning if the Tooth Fairy is real?
Children begin to lose their baby teeth at age six, and many continue to lose their teeth until around age 12. Many parents wonder if they should continue the tooth fairy tradition – or if their kids should outgrow it like they do their pacifiers and blankies.
Most older children and tweens can comprehend the difference between fantasy and reality and may start asking about the Tooth Fairy. In addition, most kids seem to hear about the tooth fairy from peers by age seven, if not before.
There is no harm in fantasy
We all want our children to have childhoods filled with enchantment and wonder. At the same time, some of us are apprehensive about deceiving our children. Especially when our children explicitly inquire about the world in which they live. There is a happy compromise where everyone can “have their cake and eat it too.”
Children can enjoy the pleasure of imagination without believing it to be actually true. Ask any child who has ever held a tea party with stuffed animals or spent an afternoon jumping over lava rivers in the living room. They are aware that there is no actual tea in those cups, and the living room is reassuringly devoid of lava. But that does not diminish the enjoyment.
It is perfectly acceptable for your child to know that the Tooth Fairy is actually mom in her nightgown slipping in at midnight to hide R20 under their pillow. Again, the fun lies in the fantasy.
How to discuss the Tooth Fairy with your child
Fun and fantasy aside, if your child insists on pinning you down and demands to know where the Tooth Fairy comes from, feel free to be honest.
You could say something like, “‘Fairies, like unicorns and dragons, are not real, but it’s fun to pretend they are.'” Most likely, your children will be eager to resume playing make-believe with you. And if they don’t want to pretend, that is also acceptable.
How not to ruin the Tooth Fairy for other children
So, let’s assume your child has understood the concept that the Tooth Fairy is a made-up, fictitious character. What do you do if they spread this information far and wide?
It is difficult for young children to keep secrets, and it is not your responsibility to sustain the Tooth Fairy fantasy for others. You have the right to teach your child what you believe to be right and proper.
However, this does not mean you should allow your child to distribute brochures at preschool proclaiming, “The Tooth Fairy is just your mom or dad!” Because, regardless of what we teach our children, they should always be respectful of the beliefs of others.
