Children are going through so much that sometimes they may need some kind of intervention, beyond our support as parents. So how do you know that your child must go for therapy? If you have noticed extreme changes in your child’s behaviour or personality, a sudden drop in academic performance, and emotional outbursts, then it could be a sign that they need help.. Withdrawal from activities they previously enjoyed, friends or family, drastic changes in their eating or sleeping habits may all be a sign that your child is going through something overwhelming and needs help.
Choosing a therapist
The reason a therapist is a good idea is that there may be things your teen cannot talk to you or their friends about. Talking to someone outside of their close circle may help them deal with these issues. Although it is difficult to accept that your child cannot discuss some personal problems with you, it is generally because they do not want to disappoint you. Your role as the parent is to ensure that your child is nurtured, and therapy is just another aspect of nurturing. As parent as well, you may be embarrassed to talk about therapy or ask for referrals for one. But life has its ups and downs for everyone, so don’t be ashamed to seek help. There is no use being afraid to ask for referrals from people you trust.
Getting your teen to agree
It certainly won’t be easy to get your teen to agree to see a therapist. Teens deny that they have any issues, or have a negative view of therapy. They are often concerned about what their friends might say, getting teased, etc. Do not lecture them, or accuse them of their recent negative behaviours. This will make them feel more distressed and they will be less willing to see a therapist. Remember, you are considering this decision because you are concerned. Try to express that concern, your love for them and explain that as their parent you will do anything to help ease their pain, confusion or anxiety.
If they refuse
Therapists understand how resistant teens are to therapy, so the first few sessions build rapport and a sense of a safe environment. Confidentiality is discussed, and this often helps them feel secure in continuing therapy. Suggest they attend four sessions and if they still feel it is pointless, then they don’t have to go again.
Making the most of therapy
Most parents are desperate to know what goes on in therapy. However, for therapy to be beneficial, your teen needs to feel safe. and that comes with having a trusted relationship with their therapist. It’s a therapists’ responsibility to share only information that is important in keeping your teen safe, and assisting them outside of therapy. Be an active parent, ask how you can help. It may be by changing some of your own behaviours, or by monitoring their behaviours so the therapist can engage with your teen about them and understand their distress.
