How to discipline your child

Children need to learn that for every irresponsible action, there are consequences. They must also know that if they make a bad choice or commit a bad act, they will have to be disciplined. Disciplining young children takes patience and a lot of effort, but children feel loved and secure when there are well-defined boundaries in place. They will respect you for enforcing these boundaries if you do it with love and fairness. To discipline children effectively, you need to be firm and consistent in your approach. Here are some tried and tested tips for disciplining young children.

Make sure your request is heard

There is no point shouting from the kitchen to your children that the TV should go off in five minutes. They can either pretend not to hear you or may actually not be listening. A good tip for getting your point across to young children is to physically go down to their level and give an instruction while making eye contact. Now they can’t pretend to have not heard you. Be simple, straight-forward, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.

Don’t bend your own rules

Children need to learn that rules are not to be broken and that there are no exceptions to the rule. If you don’t put your foot down and there is hesitation in your sentence, your children will hang on to that and use your lack of conviction to bend the rules. You also need to have the same rules apply to every child in the household.

Both parents must agree on the rules

Children learn very early that parents can be manipulated and played off against each other. Avoid arguing with your partner about rules in front of your children.  If you are going to relax the bedtime rules over weekends for example, ensure that your partner is aware of this. If you don’t really agree with your partner’s decision, support him in front of the children and argue your case behind closed doors afterwards.

Be firm yet loving in your approach

Don’t instil fear when disciplining your child. If rules are only obeyed out of fear, you will never know if your child is obeying you because they realise that you have their best interests at heart, or just because a smack is the other option. You want your children to listen and obey you because they know it is the right thing to do and that you make rules because you care about their health, welfare and happiness. Take time to explain why you are enforcing a rule; it might not work the first time, but if you are consistent and repetitive it will sink in eventually.

Remain calm

Discipline doesn’t mean there must be a screaming match.  While you are being firm and enforcing a rule, try to remain calm at the same time. Screaming and punching will only deplete you of necessary energy.

They must understand there are consequences

If your children break the rules or do not stick to the rules, they must know that there will a price to pay. If you child has done something wrong, take away a privilege like watching TV for a week. They will think twice the next time they think of breaking the rules.