Honour the fact that your child is unique
Comparing your child to other children can be harmful to your child's self-esteem, and impact their emotional health and wellbeing.
It’s a truth many parents don’t want to admit we all compare our children to other children, whether we are consciously aware that we are doing it or not.
Is my child too thin or too fat? Is my child too short or too tall? Why can’t my child draw as well as so-and-so? Why can’t my child run as fast as so-and-so? Stop comparing your child and just enjoy them for who they are! If, however, you’re still worried that your child is lagging behind, these tips may prove helpful…
Discover what is normal
Before you believe your child isn’t measuring up, consult with your paediatrician to find out the typical age range for your child to do the things you are waiting for them to start doing. You might discover that your friend’s or relative’s youngster is ahead of yours, rather than that yours is behind.
Respect the differences
Young children typically progress in one area at a time. Parents must train themselves to respect differences. Each child develops at a different rate, which is entirely natural. Parents should not put too much stock in what their friends or family say. When relatives have children of similar ages, inter-family competition can be fierce. And, if you’re not careful, having friends and coworkers with children of the same age isn’t always a good thing. Take family and friends’ boastings and counsel with a grain of salt. Your paediatrician is the most knowledgeable about your child’s growth.
Choose your words wisely
It doesn’t always require a family member or coworker to play the game; when you have a second child, you may become the source of all these comparisons. When baby number two arrives, we immediately begin looking for similarities and differences between the first and second. But be cautious; as innocuous as comparisons may appear, they nearly always instill emotions of inadequacy in children. Comparing your children’s abilities and growth conveys that your affection is conditional. Children may believe they will not be liked or accepted as much as a sibling who is cuter, sweeter, or better.
Worthy of praise
Look for distinctive qualities to appreciate in your children. Recognise and applaud what each child achieves very well. Praise when praise is due. However, don’t overdo the compliments; children whose parents constantly praise them even when they haven’t done well in a particular field may y develop the belief that they are somehow more important than other children and can become boastful and vain.
