Miss X writes:
I left the father of my child almost two years ago.
Our relationship ended on a bad note.
Since we have broken up, he wants nothing to do with his child, he does not see her or even call.
I do not know whether he is doing this to spite me since I ended the relationship.
After I left, he went on to have another child with another woman.
So now I feel like he does not care about our daughter because he has another child.
I do not know how to handle this situation.
It breaks my heart.
Dear Miss X
Relationships between people are dynamic and undergo constant change.
If the direction in which the relationship is going is not desirable or acceptable to both, a couple can begin to drift apart.
More often than not, this process is marked by increasing incidences and intensity of conflict and confrontation due to divergent interests.
When faced with the end of a relationship, many women are apt to feel that they have failed themselves or their children, or that they are personally lacking in some way.
This seems true in your case.
With your ex-partner’s new family, he has acquired additional responsibilities.
You are now justifiably concerned that this shift in his priorities will impact negatively on your daughter.
However, it is not necessarily the physical separation of her parents or the addition of a new child into the situation that has the potential to cause the real damage – it is the hostility between her parents.
It is, therefore, in the child’s best interests, that both you and your ex-partner work together towards building a reasonably amicable relationship, which would encompass agreements around maintenance and access of your daughter to her father.
Please contact a LifeLine counsellor to talk through your feelings and the options available to you.
All our readers are advised by professionals from LifeLine Ekurhuleni.
The organisation was established out of a need for community members to access a 24-hour telephonic service that could assist them in addressing emotional and social stress as well as trauma and loss.
These services have since grown to include both telephonic and face to face interventions offered throughout Ekurhuleni with service points in Benoni, Tembisa,Vosloorus Tsakane, and Duduza.
The majority of services focus on assisting victims of domestic violence, rape, human trafficking and child abuse.
LifeLine Ekurhuleni is a leader in developing personnel skills and promoting emotional wellness for the healing and transformation of individuals and communities.
Members of the public who need telephonic or face to face counselling should contact the counselling line on 011 422 4242.
Contact the LifeLine Ekurhuleni office on 011 421 0384 or email lifelineoffice@gmail.com
